Time
by arysa13
Summary: After All Stars Courtney convinces Scott to forgive her and all is well until she sees Duncan on the street.
1. Good in Goodbye

**Good in Goodbye**

_As bad as it hurt, I thank god I didn't get what I thought that I deserved_

"…and then maybe I can show you how to milk a cow," Scott was saying as I hurried around the apartment, getting ready for work. I'd slept in and now I was only going to be fifteen minutes early instead of half an hour, and that was if I left right that moment without listening to whatever my boyfriend was going on about.

Most of my friends and family were surprised when Scott and I got back together after Total Drama All-Stars, but I really don't see what's so strange about it. It wasn't hard to convince him the whole thing with the list was just a big misunderstanding, and since I was the only girl who'd ever looked twice at him (and let's face it, I'm not ugly) Scott was only too willing to get back together.

I guess everyone thought I was too good for him, but honestly, Scott is a great guy. He'd really a sweetheart and very dependable and although he's a red head he's actually quite good looking. It doesn't matter so much if he isn't that bright or he doesn't have any goals or he isn't really that good in bed. At least he grew out of his dirt eating, armpit licking stage.

"Scott, honey, I really don't have time to talk about this right now. Can it wait till tonight?" I said, kissing him on the cheek as I made to walk out the door.

"Oh, sure, I guess so," Scott replied with a shrug. "What time will you be home?"

"Oh, I don't know," I said flippantly as I grabbed my keys. "Bye!"

"Bye…" I heard him call after me as I slammed the door behind me and hurried out of the building to my car. I didn't really know what Scott did while I was at work. He was meant to be looking for jobs but so far he'd had no luck. He kept complaining that he had no skills outside farming but I told him that you don't gain skills by sitting around the house doing nothing. Besides, if he grew up on a farm he should know how to fix things, right? So he should just become a handyman or something. Although I've never actually seen him do any fixing at home, usually I do it, or if I'm too busy I call the landlord.

I was the first one in my office that morning, as usual, since everyone else got there right on 9am or sometimes later. But I preferred to make sure I was already working by 9, since I always had a lot of work to do, and was often interrupted by new clients making appointments that I really didn't have time for, but were always to good to pass up. I'd only been working at the law firm a year, but already I was one of their most trusted and esteemed lawyers and people often asked for me by name. I hadn't lost a case yet, and I would be buried in my grave before I did so.

The day passed by in a blur and when a colleague came into my office at 5pm to ask if I wanted to come out for drinks after work I graciously accepted, though I normally stayed much later than office hours. But I decided tonight I needed to blow off a little steam, and a drink or two couldn't hurt so I quickly packed up my desk and followed my work mates to a nearby bar. We had a couple of drinks and then someone suggested we get dinner so I quickly texted Scott.

**Won't be home for dinner. See you later x**

He didn't respond so I assumed he was okay with it.

I wasn't really paying attention to where we were going, I was just following Colin, one of my colleagues, who apparently knew a great restaurant close by. When Colin announced that we'd arrived at the place, I looked up and instantly felt a weird pang of nostalgia, and not in a good way. It was the restaurant Duncan had taken me to after Total Drama Action, the night we officially got back together. Or maybe it was together for the first time, I was never really sure.

"Are you alright, Courtney?" Colin asked, seeing the look of shock on my face.

"Of course," I pasted a smile on my face and followed the others inside. They all knew about my history with Duncan of course, though I never talked about it. But everyone in the country had seen Total Drama. There were some things you never escaped. There was no way I was going to bring him up at this dinner, just because some ridiculous memory that meant nothing now happened to pop into my head.

The restaurant hadn't changed in the 9 years since I'd been there, and it was a little unnerving. I cursed myself for the way my eyes lingered over the table Duncan and I had sat at when we'd eaten there together. I made sure to order something different to last time. I couldn't believe the way this place affected me, especially since it had been so long. I barely ever thought about Duncan nowadays, he was just a distant memory in the back of my mind, and although I didn't totally regret our so-called relationship, I didn't really like to think about it. And yet here I was, only half listening to the conversation going on around me because I was too busy remembering how nervous he looked when he told me he loved me that night.

When our food finally arrived I kind of picked at it, not really feeling like eating anymore.

"Courtney, are you sure you're okay?" Colin asked again, concerned.

"You do look a little pale," Laura agreed.

"No, actually. I'm suddenly not feeling that well, I think I should probably just go home," I said. It wasn't entirely a lie, I didn't feel that well. They all murmured their "get well soons" as I stood up and left them to it.

As soon as I was outside my feelings of nausea turned to anger. I wasn't sure if I was angry at myself or at Duncan (most likely Duncan) but I simply hated that I let the memory of him spoil my night out. It had been five years since I'd last seen him, and eight years since we'd broken up for god's sake. I was about to go back inside when I heard a familiar laugh somewhere to the right of me and my head snapped around in that direction. It had to be my imagination. I'd obviously just thought I heard him laugh because I'd just been thinking about him. He didn't even live in Toronto for goodness sake! But as my eyes glanced at the group of people standing a few metres away from me, I knew that I hadn't imagined it.

Duncan was standing there talking and laughing with some people I'd never seen before, looking happier than I'd ever seen him. Unfortunately, not only did he look extremely happy, he also looked really good. Time had been good to him, and while I'd thought he was attractive while we were on Total Drama, it was nothing compared with what he looked like now. And what was even more surprising was the little girl he had perched on his shoulders. Her crystal blue eyes were all the proof I needed to know she was Duncan's daughter. She looked to be about four years old and unless Duncan had knocked up some chick while he was in prison, my guess was that Gwen was the mother. It shouldn't really have been surprising, I had no doubt the information would have been splashed all of the "news" and maybe Scott had even tried to tell me. But back then anything that involved Gwen or Duncan was pushed to the back of my mind. Right until this very moment, actually.

Strangely, I found myself smiling as I surveyed the situation and I realised I'd finally let go of all the resentment and hard feelings I'd carried around with me for years. Still, I wasn't totally sure I wanted to talk to him. What would I even say? I cursed to myself, knowing I would have to walk past him to get to my car. I wondered if I should go back inside, I had been about to anyway, but if that's where he was going then I didn't really want to be there.

Before I had made my decision his voice caught my attention.

"_Courtney?_" he asked incredulously.

"Duncan?" I responded, pretending I had only just seen him there. Too late I wondered if I should have pretended not to know him. He reached up and grabbed the girl from his shoulders, holding her hand in his as he strode over to me.

"Fancy seeing you… here," he glanced at the entrance to the restaurant and I knew he remembered the last time we were here together.

"I didn't know you were in Toronto," I said. It was the only thing I could think of to say that didn't involve bringing up old memories, which by now was the only thing we shared. It was definitely time to be an adult who could let bygones be bygones. Despite this and my earlier thoughts of letting it go, I felt a sudden surge of anger towards him, that he thought he could just walk up to me so casually like he didn't cost me a million dollars and my reputation while simultaneously breaking my heart into a thousand pieces. The heart thing I could take, it was the money and the reputation I was mad about.

"I just moved here yesterday," he responded. He then glanced down at his daughter. "This is Ariel. She's –,"

"Your daughter?" I guessed. Duncan nodded.

"Huh," I said. This conversation was a facsimile of a sham and I wanted no part of it. I wanted to walk away and never see or think about Duncan again. "Well, I guess I'll see you around then," I said, not meaning it. It was all very well to try to let it go, but another thing to stand there and talk to him like old friends. I gave him a fake smile and went to walk past him and to my car.

"Wait, Courtney," Duncan stopped me. I turned back to him, trying not to show the annoyance on my face.

"Mmm?" I responded unenthusiastically. I glanced down at his daughter who hid behind her dad's legs shyly when our eyes met. I looked back to Duncan, impatiently waiting for him to speak.

"Maybe we could catch up… over lunch or something," he suggested casually.

"I don't think so Duncan," I said shortly.

"Oh come on, why not?" Duncan said teasingly, but I wasn't in the mood.

"What makes you think I would want to speak to you?" I said, not harshly, just a little resigned. I was already tired of pretending to be nice. Duncan shrugged, his smile fading from his face.

"I'd like to know what you've been up to," he told me. "I'll make it worth your while," he winked suggestively.

"I have a boyfriend, but thanks for the offer," I rolled my eyes.

"I was only kidding… I'm with Gwen anyway. We're… engaged," he informed me. My eyes widened with the news. I don't know why I was surprised, they did have a daughter together after all.

"Congratulations," I managed.

"Thanks. So what do you say? Maybe you, me, Gwen and your boyfriend could have dinner or something," Duncan pressed. I didn't know why he was so eager to catch up with me, the last time I'd seen him he made it pretty clear he wanted nothing to do with me.

"I doubt Scott would like that," I said. Not that I particularly cared if Scott would like it or not, I did what I liked, but it was a good excuse and a good way to let Duncan know who my boyfriend was.

"Scott?" Duncan asked, taken aback. I smirked, glad the information had the desired effect.

"Yes, Scott. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be going now," I made to leave again but once again Duncan decided to stop me.

"Wait, Court…" he started. I sighed and turned to face him again. "Do you… I mean… is Scott… I mean… are you happy?" he eventually got out. I was a little surprised at the question. Since when had he ever cared about my happiness? I thought for a moment before answering. Was I happy? To be honest I wasn't really sure, but I figured I was close enough to happiness to tell Duncan I was.

"Yeah," I answered finally. He nodded once, as if to say he was glad.

"Me too." He grinned. "So… lunch?" he persisted. I exhaled dramatically and rolled my eyes.

"Fine. ONE lunch. You pay. My number's still the same, you can call me when you figure out the time and place. And let's make it somewhere private. The media would have a field day over this, even after all this time." I added. It was true. Despite not being on TV for 5 years, our pictures still ended up in the magazines when they had no one more interesting to talk about. It was funny how I'd once been so desperate for fame and now I wished I'd never had so much as my name mentioned on reality TV. "Now I'm leaving." I said pointedly and turned and walked away.

"You got it!" Duncan called with a chuckle. It wasn't until I reached the car that I realised Duncan may not even still have my number. Logically he would have deleted it after we broke up; I had deleted his after all. But he hadn't said so. Had he kept it after all these years? I shook my head, reasoning I would find out if I got a call from him, which I very much hoped I would not.

* * *

**Note - Okay so I have no idea if this is going to be any good or not but I have had a million ideas running around in my head and this one seemed like the easiest to write. Let me know what you think!**


	2. I Forgive You

**I Forgive You**

_No shame, no blame, 'cause the damage is done_

When I got home I immediately went to the fridge, feeling hungry since I hadn't eaten anything at the restaurant. There was some food in containers and I realised Scott must have made dinner for us. I felt a twinge of guilt that I hadn't been there to eat it with him, but then again, I had texted him so really it was his own fault. Where was he anyway? It was only half past nine, surely he hadn't gone to bed already?

I put one of the containers in the microwave then wandered into the bedroom to find him lying in bed with his back to me. It was clear he'd gone to bed annoyed as he was still in his clothes, plus the fact that it wasn't even ten o'clock yet. I wasn't sure if he was actually asleep or just pretending so that he didn't have to talk to me, but either way I decided to leave him alone. I'd apologise in the morning. Tomorrow was Saturday, and though I often when into the office on the weekend (alone, of course. No one else had my dedication) I decided to stay home with Scott to make it up to him. Meanwhile, I ate the leftover food and went to bed, trying to keep my mind from Duncan.

* * *

I got up early the next day and made breakfast for Scott, something I barely ever did since I was so busy and honestly didn't really enjoy cooking very much. Not that I wasn't good at it, of course, I've always been an excellent cook, but cooking is such a waste of time.

I beamed at Scott as he walked into the kitchen with a confused look on his face.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Cooking, obviously," I replied, scooping the bacon and eggs onto a plate for him.

"But you don't cook," Scott pointed out as he took the plate from me.

"Sure I do. Sometimes…" Scott looked at me sceptically and I sighed, serving myself some bacon and eggs and joining him at the table. "Okay, I just feel bad about last night. I didn't know you were making dinner."

"I told you," Scott informed me. Had he told me? If so I didn't remember. Scott must have seen the blank look on my face because he frowned and stabbed his eggs with a fork. "You never listen to me," he mumbled sulkily. He was such a child honestly. One time I happened to miss an important piece of information and he makes out like I'm a completely horrible person who doesn't care about him at all.

"I'm sorry, okay?" I said. "We can have dinner together tonight. I'll cook." Scott bit into his eggs and screwed up his face.

"Please don't," he said. I huffed in annoyance, offended that he didn't like my cooking. "Anyway, it's not just the dinner thing! Do you remember anything I said from last night?" he questioned. Once again I thought back to last night, and immediately found that it was a bad idea. All I could remember from last night was running into Duncan and agreeing to have lunch with him… or had that been a dream?

"I asked you if you want to finally meet my parents next weekend. I thought maybe we could take a trip to the farm, you know… and I could show you around an stuff…" Scott proposed. He sighed as he trailed off. "Forget it. It's stupid. You obviously don't want to." He grabbed his plate and went to take it over to the sink, though he'd eaten only a couple of bites. I quickly got up and followed him, putting my arms around him.

"It's not stupid! I want to do that. I'd love to meet your parents," I told him. It was the truth, I really did want to meet his parents. I wasn't so keen on the farm thing, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices I guess.

"You would?" Scott whispered into my hair, almost disbelievingly. I nodded and pulled back slightly so I could give him a kiss. "Great! I'll call them now and let them know we're coming!" Scott grabbed his phone and immediately dialled his mother. At that very moment my own phone began to ring so I grabbed it and went into the bedroom. The number was unknown but I had a sinking feeling I knew exactly who it was.

"Courtney speaking," I answered.

"It's Duncan," the voice on the other end said.

"Great." I muttered sarcastically.

"Let's go have lunch today," Duncan said.

"Today?" I groaned.

"Yeah. You said you would," Duncan reminded me.

"I didn't say _today_," I pointed out.

"You said call you when I had a time and place… and I do," Duncan chuckled.

"Today's not good for me," I asserted, refusing to give in to his demands.

"It's now or never, babe," Duncan said nonchalantly.

"Okay, well I choose never," I snorted. "And DON'T call me babe."

"Aw, don't be like that. I was just kidding. Come on, please?" Duncan pleaded. Was he really begging? From the other room I could hear Scott finishing the call with his mother and coming towards the bedroom. The last thing I wanted was for Scott to know I was on the phone to Duncan.

"Fine! Fine," I agreed hurriedly. "I have to go. Where do I meet you?"

"I'll text you the details," Duncan said and hung up. I made a noise of protest. I wanted to be the one to hang up first.

"Hmph," I said to myself as Scott entered the room.

"Who was that?" he asked, coming to sit beside me on the bed and putting his arm around me.

"Just… a client. I have to go and meet him at lunch time, you don't mind right?" I lied.

"Nah, it's fine. Maw's happy to have us on the weekend. She can't wait to meet you!" Scott grinned. He kissed me on the forehead and went back out to the living room.

"That's great," I said with a smile. Scott shut the door behind him and my phone buzzed with a message from Duncan. I read the message which was just an address, then hesitated a moment before saving his number to my phone, hoping I wouldn't regret this later.

* * *

The address Duncan had given me was in some shady alley and I just knew I was going to get murdered, despite the fact that it was broad daylight. Duncan was nowhere in sight, but then again he had told me to meet him inside. I screwed up my nose as I opened the door into an empty hallway. I walked inside and the door slammed behind me as I looked around for some sign of the man I was supposed to be meeting.

"Duncan?" I called. There was no answer. I huffed and stamped my foot impatiently. This was so typical of him. Of course he would beg me to go out with him, make me meet him in some dingy old building and then show up late. Why did I even bother? I was about to leave when a hand clamped over my mouth and an arm snaked around my waist. Great, I knew someone would try to murder me. They weren't about to get away with it that easily though. I elbowed my attacker in the stomach as hard as I could which promptly made him let go and I quickly spun around ready to kick him where it hurt, when I saw that it was none other than Duncan.

"What the hell Duncan?" I snapped.

"More like what the hell Courtney!" Duncan groaned, clutching his stomach. "I forgot how hard you can hit."

"You snuck up behind me and grabbed me, what did you expect?" I rolled my eyes at his pathetic display.

"I thought you'd recognise me…" he stopped clutching his stomach and just stood bend over with his hands on his knees.

"How? By your scent? The shape of your hand?" I scoffed. Duncan just shrugged as he stood up straight again. "We aren't having lunch here are we?" I asked, changing the subject. Duncan nodded.

"You said you wanted it to be out of the way," he reminded me.

"Yeah but…" I gestured to nothing in particular, just pointing out the general grottiness of the hallway we were standing in.

"Just follow me," Duncan said and led the way up a spiral staircase that eventually lead to the rooftop, where I was amazed to find a beautiful garden. I stood in the doorway open mouthed at how spectacular it was. It was lush and green with coloured flowers everywhere, and a magnificent view of the sky and the city.

"What is this place?" I breathed, still trying to take it all in.

"It's Harold's rooftop garden," Duncan informed me. I looked at him quizzically.

"Harold? But you and Harold hate each other…" I remembered.

"People change, Courtney," Duncan declared. I raised an eyebrow and he just grinned and let me over to a table with two chairs, even pulling my chair out for me. I continued to be suspicious of him, because it still wasn't clear to me _why _he had asked me here.

Duncan made a picnic basket appear from somewhere and poured me a glass of wine and began putting food on the table.

"Duncan…" I started, suddenly concerned as to where this was going.

"Mmm?" he responded vaguely as he pulled some cheese out of the basket.

"This isn't a date, right?" I asked. He stopped pulling food out and looked up at me. "I mean, I told you… I'm with Scott… and…"

"Relax, princess. I know. And I'm with Gwen, remember? We're just two friends catching up on old times," Duncan assured me.

"I wouldn't say we were friends," I snorted. He just smirked and shook his head. "So… Ariel's with Gwen today I guess?"

"Yep," Duncan nodded.

"She looks just like you," I mused.

"Yeah, thank god she doesn't look like Gwen!" Duncan laughed. I kind of frowned and smiled at the same time, unsure if Duncan should be insulting his fiancé to his ex-girlfriend. Duncan didn't seem to find it weird though, he just started eating food so I followed suit.

"So how's life with Scott?" Duncan asked.

"It's great. He's great," I replied.

"How'd you get him to take you back?" Duncan laughed. I gave him a dirty look but it didn't wipe the smirk of his face.

"It was easy, I just told him the truth: that I was the best thing to ever happen to him," I said. "What about Gwen? Last I remember she dumped you," I reminded him.

"Yeah but then she found out she was pregnant so…" Duncan shrugged.

"She came to visit you in prison?" I asked.

"Nah I wasn't in prison very long. It was Harold who bailed me out actually… and then because of all the illegal shit Chris has pulled over the years he didn't have a leg to stand on in court and I got off," Duncan laughed. "I fucking hate Chris," he shook his head. I nodded in agreement.

"Why did Harold bail you out?" I wondered.

"It's kind of a long story," Duncan shrugged.

"Well, it's not like we've got anything else to talk about. Unless I can leave now?" I said pointedly.

"Fine…" Duncan sighed. "When I got thrown in jail they said I could call someone… and I realised… I didn't have anyone to call. I didn't want my parents to know I'd landed in real jail this time, Gwen had just broken up with me and was still on the show anyway, and I hadn't really kept any other friends. I figured I couldn't afford a lawyer so I decided to save the call for later," Duncan explained as I listened intently.

"I spent a couple of nights in there, just thinking. It was actually good you know? It was kinda like when your mom sends you to your room to think about what you've done, only I actually did think about what I'd done… and I realised I was 20 years old and I'd achieved nothing, as well as being a total dick most of my life. That's when I decided I should make amends with people… and I decided to start with Harold," Duncan gave a shrug. "I called him to apologise and he accepted and said he'd come into some money and would I like him to bail me out… so I said yeah, and now we're friends I guess," he finished. I stared at him as understanding dawned on me. "It sounds lame I know, but that's what happened…" Duncan said, misreading my expression.

"It's not that, it's just I finally understand why I'm here," I said.

"You do?" Duncan frowned.

"You want to make amends with me so you can cross me off your dumb list and you can feel better about yourself, right?" I guessed.

"Well… I mean… that's not exactly…" Duncan stammered. I stood up and grabbed my bag.

"It's your lucky day. Though you've yet to give me an apology, I forgive you. You can rest easy at night now without having me on your conscience. Have a nice life." I spat, maybe a little harshly, and immediately sauntered away, back to the door and down the staircase with Duncan calling after me.

I was thankful that torturous meal was over, and even more thankful it ended with me walking away. When I got back onto the street I looked up at the roof but the garden was hidden from view. As I walked back to my car I realised… the meal _wasn't _torturous at all… I hadn't sat there seething at him, filled with resentment. Duncan had been perfectly polite and civil and we'd even had a nice conversation. Then I reminded myself that he'd only been nice because he wanted some kind of closure, to make sure I was fine so he didn't have to feel guilty anymore.

But wait, what was so wrong with that really? Didn't I want closure too? Wasn't it a nice gesture that he'd bothered to set up a lunch date for us in a pretty garden when he could have simply called me and asked if he could cross me off his list? So why was I so mad? I think I really did forgive him. I mean it was so long ago, and we were so young, there was no real point hanging on to old wounds. Even if some part of me (my pride, probably) said I should hate him forever.

I slowed my walking pace as I neared my car, glancing behind me to see if Duncan had followed. He hadn't of course. I sighed and unlocked my car. Could it be possible that I was so mad at him because he didn't want anything more than a dumb lunch and the chance to make amends? I shook my head and climbed into my car. Of course not, that was just stupid. I was with Scott, I didn't want Duncan in any way. I was done with that man for good.


	3. The Trouble with Love is

**The Trouble with Love is**

_Said love wasn't worth the pain, but then I hear you call my name_

"Hey, angel, how'd the meeting with the client go?" Scott asked once I was home.

"Not so great," I sighed, flopping down beside him on the couch where he was watching reruns of The Biggest Loser. I grabbed the remote and switched the channel immediately. "Why are you watching this crap?" I scoffed. Scott just shrugged.

"Are you done with work for the day?" he asked.

"Yeah… hey, what do you say we go out for dinner tonight?" I suggested, feeling a little guilty for lying to him.

"Okay, that sounds great," Scott smiled. Honestly I think he'd forgotten about the whole not listening to him thing, he never did stay mad for long. I gave him a quick kiss and then headed into the bedroom to change into something more comfortable.

Strangely, or perhaps not so strangely (I wasn't really sure what was strange and what wasn't anymore), I expected to hear from Duncan, even just a text message. I didn't even know what I expected him to say, after all what was there left to say? But anyway, it didn't matter what I expected because I heard nothing for the rest of the day.

* * *

. "I'm so happy you're going to meet my parents next weekend," Scott gushed at dinner. I knew he was happy about it because he mentioned it every five minutes and it was actually starting to get annoying. But of course I he was so excited about it that I couldn't tell him to shut up.

"Me too, Scott," I smiled. If Scott noticed I wasn't all there the whole night then he didn't say anything. I was thinking about Duncan of course, though I was extremely irritated that he should be in my thoughts at all. The more I thought about him, that angrier it made me. I'd managed to rid him from my head almost entirely for five years, then he shows up and I could think of nothing else.

As soon as dinner was over Scott grabbed my hand and we left the restaurant (I paid of course). Scott was talking about his farm I think, I wasn't really listening.

"Courtney? Angel?" Scott said timidly when we got home. I wasn't really a fan of the term of endearment but I didn't hate it enough to ask him to stop calling my by it.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Can we… you know," he grinned. I sighed. The fact that Scott was twenty-three years old and still couldn't say the word sex without giggling like a child was another thing that irritated me about him. But again, I didn't care enough to try and change it.

"Yeah, why not?" I smiled. We walked into the bedroom and he kissed me before hurriedly throwing his clothes on the floor. I followed suit before getting onto the bed, where Scott scrambled on top of me and I let him do his thing for a couple of minutes before he rolled over, satisfied, and went to sleep.

Once I could hear him snoring I got up and showered, using the hot water to rid me of my frustration. I'd tried to get Scott to be more adventurous in the bedroom in the past, but he didn't even like it when I was on top. Plus he never lasted very long anyway, so I gave up trying.

As I stood in the shower my mind inevitably drifted to Duncan again. How it had been with him. Even as a sixteen year old Duncan had been a better lover than Scott was now. I cursed myself for thinking of him that way, and then I cursed him for coming back into my life when I was finally happy.

* * *

By Monday I'd almost forgotten about Duncan again, especially since I was extremely busy at work.

It was about four thirty when the receptionist buzzed me in my office to tell me there was someone there to see me.

"I don't have any more appointments today," I told her.

"I told him that but he says it's urgent," she replied.

"What could possibly so urgent that it can't wait until tomorrow?" I snapped.

"I don't know but…" she trailed off, as if nervous to say the next thing.

"What is it Monica?" I asked impatiently.

"It's that guy, from the show," she whispered.

"What are you talking about?"

"The one from Total Drama… you know Duncan… the one you…"

"Okay!" I cut her off hurriedly. "I know who he is, thanks."

"He has his daughter with him. Should I send them in?" Monica asked. I exhaled slowly before answering.

"Fine." I hung up and then stared at the door with an expression of disdain on my face, waiting for Duncan to walk in. "What are you doing here?" I snapped when he opened the door.

"Nice to see you too," he grinned. He took the seat opposite me and pulled Ariel onto his lap.

"Seriously, Duncan. I was hoping I'd seen the last of you," I stated.

"But you said you'd forgiven me," Duncan reminded me, as if I could have forgotten.

"That doesn't mean we're friends and I want to hang out with you," I pointed out.

"Who said I wanted to hang out?" Duncan said.

"Okay, then why are you here?" I asked.

"I was in the neighbourhood, picking up Ariel from school…"

"She's old enough for school?" I asked, surprised.

"I'm four," Ariel interjected gleefully, holding up four fingers.

"Oh," I responded. Did kids go to school that early? Apparently so. Duncan chuckled as daughter and grabbed the four fingers she was holding up and kissed the back of her hand.

"Yes, you are princess!" he grinned.

"Daddy, I'm bored, let's go," Ariel demanded, sliding off her father's lap.

"In a minute, Ariel, Daddy's just got to talk to this nice lady," Duncan told her. It was so surreal hearing Duncan talk to his daughter, referring to himself as "Daddy" and me as a "nice lady." Ariel seemed to agree that calling me a nice lady was a bit far fetched as she screwed up her nose at me. Duncan turned his attention back to me.

"You wanna grab an ice cream with me and Ariel?" he proposed.

"No thanks, I have work to do," I sniffed.

"Dinner then?" he tried again.

"No, Duncan. I can't keep lying to Scott," I responded.

"You don't have to lie to him, it's only dinner," Duncan said.

"I'm sure he'd take that well," I said sarcastically. "And what about Gwen anyway?"

"What about her?" Duncan asked.

"Doesn't she mind that you're harassing me?"

"I haven't told her."

"Well, won't she wonder where you are?"

"No, she's out of town this week. Come on Court, just one ice cream. I bet your boss will let you go," Duncan grinned mischievously.

"No," I said simply and put my head back down to continue working. I heard a scratching noise coming from the corner of the room and looked up to find Ariel had acquired a pen and was scratching lines into my wooden bookcase. "Duncan!" I cried standing up and running over to Ariel. I scooped her up into my arms to remove her from the bookcase. "Can't you control your daughter?" I scolded. Duncan just laughed.

"She does what she wants, babe," he said. Ariel giggled and brought the pen up to my face, ready to draw on me but I quickly held her at arms length. "This is ridiculous."

"This is ridiculous!" Ariel mocked. I huffed and put her back on the ground.

"She's just like you," I said to Duncan dryly. Duncan laughed again and threw Ariel over his shoulder as he stood up and left the room without another word. I breathed a sigh of relief when he was gone and sat back down to my work.

Not five minutes later someone knocked on my door.

"Yes?" I answered, a little snappily.

"Courtney, you can go," my boss said as he entered my office.

"What? Are you firing me?" I asked anxiously, wondering what I'd done wrong. Surely being snappy wasn't a good enough reason to let me go?

"Don't be ridiculous. Go and have ice cream with your friend and I'll see you tomorrow," he smiled sadly.

"He's not my friend," I asserted.

"Just go," he said. I grumbled as he left the room but I grabbed my bag and headed out anyway.

"What did you tell him?" I asked Duncan, annoyed, as we left the building.

"I said Ariel was dying of cancer and that you needed to spend as much time with her as possible before she passed away," Duncan replied, looking rather proud of himself.

"What? That's horrible!" I cried, hitting him with my bag.

"Hey!" Ariel punched me in the leg, the only part of me she could reach. "Don't hit my dad," she warned. Duncan laughed hysterically at the stunned look on my face. This little girl was insane. She'd seemed so sweet and shy the first time I'd seen her, but apparently it didn't take her long to come out of her shell.

When we got to the ice cream place Ariel picked our flavours for us. Luckily the place only stocked the standard flavours or I wouldn't have been surprised if I'd ended up with something strange and disgusting.

We walked to a park to eat the ice creams, and I was very surprised when, as we were about to cross the road, Ariel grabbed my hand.

"We have to hold hands to cross the road," she informed me.

"But you're already holding your dad's hand, why do you need to hold mine?" I questioned.

"EVERYONE has to hold someone's hand," Ariel enforced. "Or you'll get hit by a car and die."

"Is that right?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"That's what Mommy says," Ariel nodded. I glanced at Duncan who just shrugged as we crossed the road to the park. I'd almost forgotten that Ariel was Gwen's daughter too, not just Duncan's. I felt a wave of resentment for the little girl that she was the product of two people and a situation that had hurt me so badly. I quickly shook off the feeling. It wasn't Ariel's fault her parents were lying dogs. Instead I focused my resentment back onto Duncan as we sat on a park bench and allowed Ariel to go and play on the playground with some other kids.

Duncan seemed to notice my sudden coldness towards him.

"Are you alright?" he asked. I gave him a look out the corner of my eye and pursed my lips.

"Why am I here?" I asked. If only I could figure out what Duncan actually wanted from me, maybe I would stop feeling a thousand different emotions when I thought about him.

"Uhh…" Duncan said dumbly. He stared at me for a moment, as if trying to find the right words. Nothing seemed to come to him however, and he just turned away and shrugged. I wondered for a moment if I was here because he wanted to have an affair. My heart fluttered at the thought of it. I closed my eyes slowly. Damn it. Fuck.

The moment the thought entered my brain I immediately thought of all the reasons it obviously wasn't true. Firstly, he told me he was happy with Gwen. Secondly, I'd told him I was happy with Scott. And thirdly, if that's what he wanted he wouldn't have brought his daughter. But my reaction to the idea was enough to know.

"I have to go," I said standing up. "Don't bother me at work again, okay? Delete my number. I don't want to hear from you again."

"Wait, Courtney. Look, I just… this is going to sound pretty dumb, but I feel like my life isn't the same without you in it," Duncan confessed. My eyes widened at the admission.

"Duncan…" I started, but he cut me off.

"I just want us to be friends, okay?" he finished. I paused a moment before answering, to squash the feelings of disappointment that arose with his last words. Could I even be friends with Duncan? I never had been before. Even when we were together we weren't friends really. We hated each other, we always did.

"I guess we can try," I said. Duncan grinned.

"Great."

"I'm going now," I said. Duncan nodded.

"I'll call you," he promised. I rolled my eyes but as I walked away I couldn't stop a small smile from appearing on my face. This was a bad idea and I knew it, yet I was going to do it anyway. Which I guess was always the way it was with Duncan.

* * *

**Hey lovely people, thanks for reading and reviewing my first two chapters, I always love to know what you think! Hope you enjoyed this one!**


	4. Elements

**Elements**

_A history so deep it hurts to look_

"You're home early!" Scott noted happily when I walked through the door. I looked at my watch and noticed that it was only five-thirty, when normally I would stay at the office till at least six, despite the fact that we closed at five.

"Oh… yeah. I wanted to spend some time with you," I lied, hanging my keys up by the door and heading into the bedroom. Well, it was only kind of a lie, because of course I wanted to spend time with my boyfriend, right?

Even though Duncan and I had decided to be friends now, I still couldn't bring myself to tell Scott. I'd already experienced first hand that Scott was the jealous type, after Cameron (that annoying little rat) kissed me while we were on All Stars. And that was just some idiot kid who I had no feelings for and shared no history with.

Then again I hadn't kissed Duncan. Yet. Wait, why did I think that? I was NOT going to kiss Duncan. Even though I kind of wanted to. I groaned, sitting down on the bed. _Get a grip, Courtney, _I thought to myself, _it's not like you're in love with him, you're just attracted to him, like you always have been. You can be attracted to someone and be their friend. _But even as I told myself that, I wasn't entirely sure it was true.

"Do you want me to cook something for dinner?" I called to Scott.

"Uhh… no, that's okay! We could just order in!" Scott called back. I rolled my eyes. My cooking was not that bad.

My phone buzzed with a message from Duncan.

**Next time we'll bring the ice cream to you.**

I smiled idiotically at my phone, wondering if I should reply, when Scott walked in.

"Good news?" he asked, gesturing to my phone.

"Uh, yeah. Just… a breakthrough in a case," I answered.

"Do you want Chinese?" Scott asked, easily believing my lie.

"Sure," I agreed.

* * *

Despite the fact that I never replied to his text message, Duncan showed up at my office again the next day at around the same time, this time he'd brought ice cream with him.

"I thought you were joking about that," I said as he handed me a cone.

"We don't joke about ice cream, do we Ariel?" Duncan asked his daughter.

"Nope!" Ariel agreed, her face already covered in ice cream.

"I brought some stuff for her to do this time so she won't wreck your office," Duncan grinned, producing a colouring book from a pink backpack that was shaped like an owl. Ariel quickly snatched the colouring book and the bag from Duncan, pulled out some coloured pencils and began scribbling away.

"You know I have work to do, right?" I said to Duncan pointedly as he sat down.

"But if I don't come to your work, when else will I see you? You don't want me to take up any of your Scott time," Duncan said.

"Don't you have a job of your own?" I said exasperatedly.

"I finish at four," Duncan shrugged.

"What do you do anyway?" I questioned.

"I'm a carpenter," Duncan replied.

"Look Duncan, I don't have time for this. Can't you go and annoy someone else?" I said. I went to turn back to my computer but then I realised I still had an ice cream cone in my hand.

"Nope. You're the only one I want to annoy," he grinned. I groaned in frustration. Had I known that being friends with Duncan meant him irritating me while I was at work I never would have agreed to it. "If you don't eat that, it's going to melt." Duncan pointed at the ice cream.

"I don't want it! What I want is for you to leave me alone," I snapped.

"You know, I would've thought that you'd have loosened up after all these years, but no, you're still incapable of having fun," Duncan snorted.

"I'm at work!" I said defensively.

"Fine, give me the ice cream and I'll leave," Duncan conceded.

"Thank you!" I handed him the ice cream and went to go back to work, but before I could, Duncan had shoved the ice cream in my face. I shrieked in surprise and Ariel looked up and burst into laughter, along with her father.

"This is so not funny!" I cried, standing up to go to the bathroom, whilst simultaneously wiping my face with the back of my hand. Duncan quickly stood up and raced me to the door, then proceeded to stand in front of it so I couldn't leave.

"You look ridiculous," he laughed.

"Ugh! Let me out!" I whined. He just continued to laugh so I decided to try and move him myself. Ariel thought this was a great game and tried to help me. Unfortunately, though I could hit hard, I apparently couldn't lift a grown man, even with Ariel's help.

"Chill out, princess," he said, grabbing a packet of baby wipes from his pink owl backpack and handing them to me. I snatched them from him and wiped the ice cream from my face before turning to go back to my desk, but Duncan grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him. I felt my heart beat faster, thinking he was going to kiss me. But he just grazed his thumb against the corner of my mouth and said,

"You missed a bit." He didn't let me go right away though and I wondered if he was thinking about kissing me. My eyes involuntarily flickered towards his lips and hoped he didn't notice. He then stepped back a little awkwardly, and I knew that he felt what I felt.

"You should go," I whispered. He nodded in agreement and he gathered up Ariel's book and pencils, grabbed her hand and left.

* * *

It was frustrating not having anyone to talk to about Duncan. I obviously couldn't tell Scott, and there was no way I'd call my mother or father. I wasn't really close with anyone at the office, and I didn't really talk to anyone else. Any friends I'd made at high school, on Total Drama or at college had drifted away. I needed someone to vent to, to get all my feelings out so that maybe I wouldn't be feeling so conflicted. It was ridiculous though, because I shouldn't have been feeling conflicted at all. I had no intention of going after Duncan, I'd learnt my lesson the first time. We might have come to a truce and decided to be friends, but that didn't make him trustworthy. Plus he was still with Gwen.

I stayed at work extra late that night so I wouldn't have to face Scott. I messaged him to say that I had a lot of work to do. I couldn't focus on work though, I kept thinking about Duncan and the moment that had passed between us. The touch of his hand on my arm and on my lips. I was feeling guilty, even though nothing had happened, because I knew that if he'd tried to kiss me then I wouldn't have stopped him. Even with his daughter, the child of his fiancé, sitting in the room. Even with Scott sitting at home, thinking I was alone at work. But Scott was the furthest thing from my mind in that moment.

I groaned and put my head in my hands, wondering how in the hell I got myself into this situation. I finally decided to go home, and was relieved to find Scott already asleep by the time I crawled into bed next to him.

* * *

If I thought that sleep would come as a respite from my rampant emotions, I was wrong. Of course I dreamt of Duncan. The dream took place in my office, and went much like what had happened yesterday, only his daughter wasn't present and ended with us having sex on the desk. I left for work before Scott was awake so I wouldn't have to talk to him.

Duncan didn't visit me at work that day, but he did insist on constantly sending me silly text messages. I tried to focus on work but every time he messaged me my mind slipped back to the dream I'd had and I found myself wishing he was there so I could lock the door and re-enact the dream. My clients got annoyed with me as they could tell I wasn't all there, and I had to apologise profusely and focus my attention on them.

I knew I had to do something to get Duncan out of my head and I could think of only two options, so I decided to try the first one as soon as possible. I left work right on 5pm and sped home, and found Scott lying on the couch watching TV. I immediately dropped my keys and bag on the floor and strode over to him purposefully, making him sit up with wide eyes. I grabbed his face and pulled his lips to mine, but he was so shocked it took him a while to get into it. I ripped off his shirt and then grabbed his hands, moving them towards my own shirt, trying to get him to unbutton it.

"Should we go to the bedroom?" Scott asked.

"No, let's just do it here," I replied, trying to kiss him again, but he pulled away.

"On the couch?" he pressed, seeming confused.

"Or the floor, or the coffee table. Whatever! Who cares?"

"Okay…" he agreed. I went back to kissing him and he eventually got my top off but I had to do the rest myself, while he took his own pants off. When he was eventually undressed I pushed him back onto the couch and climbed on top of him, kissing his chest. He giggled awkwardly as I straddled him.

"Angel?" he said.

"Yeah babe?" I asked.

"I… I don't like it like this," he stammered.

"Ugh, fine," I rolled my eyes and we switched positions. Scott kissed me then immediately inserted himself inside me. "Use your hands," I told him.

"Huh?"

"Touch me with your hands," I instructed. "Or your mouth, or something!" I half yelled, my frustration coming through. But Scott was already done, and I'd barely felt a thing.

"Sorry," he said, turning red.

"It's fine," I sighed, getting up. "I'm going to take a shower."

I put some music on in the bathroom and turned the water on full blast, before getting into the shower and doing for myself what Scott couldn't do for me, all the while thinking of Duncan.

* * *

The next day, I knew I'd have to try the second option of getting Duncan off my brain, since the first one didn't work. I texted him to ask where his place of work was, then on my lunch break I drove over there. The guy at the front desk lead me out to a big workshop when I told him I was looking for Duncan.

"Did you miss me that much?" Duncan grinned when he saw me, putting down the tools he was working with.

"I didn't miss you at all. I came here to tell you I don't want to be friends anymore," I snapped. Duncan's face immediately fell.

"What, why?" he asked.

"Because, I hate your guts, that's why," I snorted. "I thought I'd forgiven you but it turns out I was wrong."

"Well, that would be a first," Duncan said sarcastically, suddenly going from disappointed to hateful, not that I could blame him. "I don't want to be your friend anyway, so I guess we're good," he sneered.

"Oh please Duncan, you tracked me down and set up a romantic lunch so you could apologise to me, then proceeded to stalk me at work!" I scoffed.

"If you'll remember correctly, I never actually apologised! And I was never going to, you just jumped to conclusions," Duncan yelled.

"Then why the hell did you want to see me?" I shouted back.

"I thought _you _owed _me _and apology. For how shitty you treated me."

"How shitty _I _treated _you_?" I cried. I was supposed to be pretending to be angry with him, but with what he was saying now, I didn't need to pretend. "Duncan, you cheated on me with my only friend in the competition, on national television! How can you possibly think I owe you ANYTHING?"

"You're a fucking crazy bitch, you know that?" Duncan shouted.

"Fuck you, Duncan," I spat. I then turned and strode from the workshop as fast as possible, making it to my car before I burst into tears. How was it that Duncan was the only person who could make me cry?

Duncan may have been right, maybe I was a crazy bitch, but he was the one who made me like that.

* * *

**Hey all, new chapter! Hope you like it, please review xx**


	5. Dear Diamond

**Dear Diamond**

_What he don't know will kill him, and that I can't face._

Though Duncan wasn't completely off my mind after the incident at his work, at least now when I thought of him I just felt anger, instead of sexually frustrated and confused. As far as I could see that was almost as good as not thinking of him at all, because it meant I wouldn't be tempted to do something stupid like call him up or go and visit him. I still couldn't believe he didn't think he owed me an apology. What was the point of the last few days if he was only going to eventually ask _me _to say sorry. Could he actually have expected me to take any of the blame for what happened?

The next couple of days passed and then Scott and I were on our way to his parents' farm. He wanted to drive in his pick up truck and I agreed because I really didn't want to drive all that way, and my own car really didn't belong on a farm. Scott was playing some horrible country music very loudly.

"Seriously, what is this crap?" I asked him, annoyed.

"What?" he yelled over the music.

"What the hell are we listening to?" I shouted.

"It's Florida Georgia Line!" Scott yelled back, then proceeded to sing along. "BABY, YOU A SONG, YOU MAKE ME WANNA ROLL MY WINDOWS DOWN AND CRUISE!" he sang (very badly, I might add), while winding his window down and putting his arm out the window. I groaned and put my hand to my forehead, feeling a migraine coming on. I could honestly say I had never felt more like a country hick than in that moment. I was just glad that it seemed like everyone around that area was like that. Most people were driving pick up trucks and a lot of them were in worse condition than Scott's. Scott began waving at people that drove past, and they waved back.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"I don't know," Scott shrugged.

"Then why are you waving at them?"

"It's what we do around here!" he grinned. I gave him a look of disdain but he didn't seem to notice or care.

It was only another twenty minutes after this incident that we drove off the main road and down a dirt track. Ten minutes down the dirt track Scott turned into a long driveway which eventually lead to his house. About halfway down the driveway I noticed Scott was sweating profusely and he wasn't singing along to his bad music anymore.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm just nervous about you meeting my parents," he gulped.

"Don't you think they'll like me?" I accused.

"No, it's not that. I'm more worried about what you'll think of them," he said as he pulled up in front of his house. He got out of the truck as his mother burst out of the house and threw her arms around him. I slowly opened my door and walked up behind him while his mother was still kissing his face.

"Maw," Scott said, pulling away from his mother's arms, "this is Courtney," he introduced, pulling me forward. "Courtney this is my Maw, Geraldine."

"Nice to meet you, Geraldine," I said politely, holding out my hand. She brushed it away, however and pulled me in for a hug. I carefully patted her back and waited for her to let me go.

"It's lovely to meet you finally, Courtney!" Geraldine said, finally pulling away. "We saw you on the show of course, but I can't believe my son has kept you hidden from us for so long!" she gushed. I felt a little awkward at the comment about watching the show. Of course I knew that she would have, but it reminded me that I hadn't always been so kind to Scott on Total Drama. She didn't seem to hold any resentment towards me though, and she ushered us inside and started making us lunch.

Geraldine liked to talk a lot, and I could barely get a word in. She would ask questions then ask more questions before I got to answer the first ones and then the questions would remind her of a story and we never got back to the original questions.

"I'm going to show Courtney around the farm now," Scott told his mother once we'd finished eating. He grabbed my hand and dragged me from the room. Once we were on the veranda he handed me a pair of gumboots. "Put these on," he instructed. "They're Maw's, they should fit." I screwed my nose up at the boots but put them on anyway as Scott put his own boots on. He grabbed a bucket and a stool and grabbed my hand again, leading me away from the house and over a gate that he couldn't be bothered opening. We ended up in a field where cows were grazing.

"What are we doing?" I asked.

"You're going to milk a cow!" he grinned.

"No way!" I refused.

"Aw come on!" he pleaded with puppy dog eyes. I rolled my eyes but couldn't help smiling.

"Fine," I agreed. We approached a cow and Scott set up the stool and the bucket.

"Okay, now you just squeeze the teats," he instructed me. I grimaced but did as he said.

"Nothing's happening," I complained. I glanced at Scott and he was trying to smother his laughter but it wasn't working very well. "What's so funny?" I narrowed my eyes.

"Nothing!" Scott insisted. "Just keep trying." I did as he said and eventually managed to get some milk to squirt into the bucket.

"Hey, I did it!" I said gleefully, turning back to Scott, who was not even trying to hide his laughter anymore. "Do you really have to do this with every cow?" I asked, my eyes canvassing the paddock filled with cows.

"Uh, no," Scott laughed. "We take them to the dairy and a machine does it."

"Scott!" I glared at him and got up and gave him a shove. "Why did you make me do that then?" I shoved him again and he fell into the grass, but not before grabbing my arms and dragging me with him.

"Come on, it was fun!" he continued laughing. I scowled at him and he leant over and kissed me. He put his arms around me and pulled me in close and I stopped scowling and kissed him back. "I love you," he said.

"I know," I smiled, giving him another kiss. I wanted to say that I loved him too. It's not like I hadn't said it before. But I wasn't sure if I did anymore. But I was happy with him in that moment, and I knew that he loved me and cared for me, and that was enough for now.

"Do you want to go horse riding?" Scott offered.

"Hell yes!" Now that was something about farm life I could get on board with.

In the stables was where I met Scott's father.

"There you are Pappy!" Scott grinned. "I want you to meet Courtney."

"Nice to finally meet you, Courtney," Scott's father said gruffly. "I'm Tim. What are you kids up to?"

"I'm taking Courtney horse riding," Scott informed his father. Tim nodded and proceeded to help us saddle the horses before he went to "check on the pigs."

Though I'd never ridden a horse before it didn't take me long to pick it up, and the horse was very calm which made it easier. I raced around a paddock feeling the wind in my hair while Scott watched from his own horse with a grin on his face.

The sun was setting by the time we went back inside after leading the horses back to the stables. I was exhausted after the day of driving and horse riding and I went to have a shower. When I returned everyone was sitting on the porch drinking and there was an unfamiliar woman there. She had red hair and freckles and I could only assume she was Scott's sister.

"Courtney, this is Albertha, my sister. Al, this is Courtney," Scott introduced.

"Hey, Courtney!" Albertha beamed. I smiled back at her as I went to sit next to Scott.

"Wait, Courtney!" Scott said suddenly, before I could sit down. I looked at him in confusion. "Just, uh, don't sit down yet," he said nervously. Why he was nervous I could not fathom.

"Is everything alright?" I asked, concerned.

"Yeah, angel," he said, standing up. "Just wait here a second." Scott hurried inside and I glanced at his family. Tim seemed oblivious to what was going on, Geraldine had a huge grin on her face and Albertha looked as confused as me.

"He really adores you, you know," Geraldine told me. "He thinks you're the world." I nodded in response, wondering why she was telling me. "Don't break his heart." I wasn't sure if it was a warning or a threat or simply a plea, either way I knew she was deadly serious.

Scott came back and cleared his throat and I turned my attention back to him. "Courtney… I… uh… remember when I gave you that ring made of twine?"

"Sure," I replied.

"Well, I… I never dreamed back then that a girl like you could really want a guy like me… and then… well… here we are… and I…" Scott stammered and I finally realised where he was going. I found myself praying that he wouldn't say it, because then I wouldn't have to answer.

"I guess, what I'm trying to say is… will you be my husband?" he finished, getting down on one knee and I cringed. "No wait. Wife! Will you be my marriage? Will you… marriage me?" he obviously decided that was good enough because he stopped talking and looked up at me hopefully as he pulled out a little box. He opened the box to reveal a ring with a beautiful diamond sparkling on it. I knew it must have cost much more than Scott could realistically afford. I wondered if he'd borrowed money from his parents for the ring.

I hesitated and glanced at his family again. All three of them were looking at me expectantly, there eyes full of anticipation. I looked back at Scott, feeling uncomfortable. I really wished he hadn't asked me in front of his family.

"Scott…" I started. He was looking so hopeful and vulnerable that I knew I couldn't say no in that moment. "Of course I'll marry you."

I forced a smile and Scott jumped up and hugged me, raining kisses on my face, while his family applauded. He took the ring from the box and slipped it onto my finger which was then grabbed by Geraldine and Albertha so they could admire it. Tim got up and gave his son a hug before returning to his seat.

Geraldine and Albertha gushed about wedding plans while I half listened.

"Can I be a bridesmaid?" Albertha asked.

"Sure," I replied.

"What colour will the bridesmaid dresses be?" she pressed.

"Umm… purple," I said absentmindedly.

"Will it be at a church? Or maybe a garden?" Geraldine suggested.

"I'm not sure. Will excuse me? I have to use the bathroom," I excused myself and got up and went inside. I needed to be alone for a moment to gather my thoughts. I went to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked down at the diamond, glittering on my ring finger. It was flawless. Utterly gorgeous. And yet I felt sick looking at it. I didn't want to marry Scott. I wasn't in love with him anymore. I think I did love him, somewhere, somehow, but it wasn't enough.

And then there was the whole Duncan fiasco. No, I hadn't done anything with Duncan, but I had seen him. And I'd felt things for him. It wouldn't be right to start a marriage when I couldn't even tell Scott I'd seen my ex boyfriend.

I felt horrible. How could I ever tell him? He was so happy! And his family was so happy. I stared at the ring hopelessly.

"What am I going to do?" I whispered. I decided then that I couldn't tell him. About Duncan, or that I didn't want to get married. It would break his heart and I couldn't do that to him. I would just have to marry him. There were worse things in the world. Scott loved me. He put up with all my crap. And I could fall in love with him again, surely. I steeled my resolve and walked back out to the porch with a huge smile pasted on my face, ready to talk about weddings.

* * *

"I'm sorry I messed up the proposal," Scott whispered to me as we lay in bed that night.

"It's alright. It was sweet," I assured him.

"When should we have the wedding?" he asked.

"Let's not think about it right now, okay?" I said quietly.

"Okay," Scott replied.

"Just… just hold me," I said.

"Okay," Scott said again, putting his arms around me. I closed my eyes but sleep would not come to me.

* * *

**Hi again everyone! I just wanted to address some comments I got from last chapter!**

**I did consider making this story M after last chapter but I don't think it was that bad. If I write anything more raunchy I will change it to M**

**I also don't really know where this story is going so I guess we will find out together!**

**I'll try to be more descriptive but it's really not one of my strong points, sorry!**

**As for faster updates, I don't think I'll be able to sorry as I have uni!**

**Thanks so much for reviewing, whether it's constructive criticism or just saying you like it!**


	6. One Song Away

**One Song Away**

_And each one that plays is telling me that I'm still in love_

As soon as we got back to the city, late Sunday night, Scott wanted me to start the wedding planning.

"I really want a big wedding," he said. "Should we put an engagement announcement in the paper?"

"I haven't even told my parents yet," I pointed out.

"You should ring them now! They'll be thrilled!" Scott gushed.

"Not tonight. Can we just keep it between us for a few days?" I asked.

"Oh… okay," Scott agreed, though he was obviously disappointed. I felt kind of bad, but I wasn't ready to tell anyone just yet. He had kind of sprung this on me after all. I didn't want to tell my parents because then it would be real, and I wasn't ready for it to be real just yet. I was kind of hoping my feelings would change sometime in the next few days, and that I'd be thrilled at the prospect of marrying Scott.

It was silly, because I'd always wanted to get married. After I'd been to college and established a career first, of course. And I had done that, so other than moving up the corporate ladder, I guessed marriage was the next step.

It was a little embarrassing to admit, but I was one of those girls that kept a folder of wedding plans that I'd added to over the years. Although I hadn't added anything to it in years now. I don't know if that was because I'd given up on the thought of getting married altogether, or just because I knew I didn't want to marry Scott. Although I think I could pinpoint the exact moment I'd decided to stop putting things in the folder, and it was long before I met Scott.

Scott wasn't at all the kind of man I'd dreamt of marrying when I was thirteen. _But then again neither was Duncan_, I reminded myself. Damn, why was Duncan back in my head?

"I'll call them tomorrow after work," I promised Scott, referring to my parents. This seemed to cheer him up a little.

"And then we can start wedding plans, right, angel?" he asked. I never thought I'd be marrying a man who was more excited about planning our wedding than I was.

"Okay. But don't you have boys night tomorrow night?" I reminded him. He always had this fortnightly night out with his friends. I had no idea what they did, and frankly I did not want to know.

"Oh yeah… maybe I should skip it," Scott suggested.

"No, you should go. We have plenty of time to plan the wedding. There's no rush. I'll get out my folder and have a look through it and then we can talk about it on Tuesday night," I told him.

"Alright," Scott smiled, giving me a kiss. "So can we… you know," Scott wiggled his eyebrows up and down suggestively. I sighed.

"Not tonight, okay, babe? I'm tired," I said. Scott nodded sadly and I followed him into the bedroom where we went to sleep.

* * *

I took my ring off before I got out of the car at work the next day. I didn't want everyone gushing over me and grabbing my hand to look at the ring closer. Asking me how he proposed and when the wedding was going to be. I just didn't want to deal with any of that at the moment. Maybe when I had finally gotten used to the idea myself I would be able to talk about it with people, but today was not that day.

"How was your weekend, Courtney?" Monica asked me.

"Great, thanks, Monica," I smiled forcefully. I was about to walk into my office when she stopped me.

"Wait, Courtney! I have to tell you something!" she said.

"What is it?"

"You know how you left early on Friday because you had to pack because you were going to a farm on the weekend?" Monica blathered on. How had she remembered all that? I'd only said it to my boss in order to explain to him why I had left early on Friday. It was really none of her business.

"Get to the point, Monica!" I snapped.

"Sorry! Well, I was just about to leave myself, when your friend came in again," she finished.

"I don't have any… wait… Duncan?" I guessed.

"Yeah, Duncan," Monica affirmed.

"What did he want?" I demanded. Monica shrugged. "Didn't he leave a message?" I asked exasperatedly.

"No. He didn't want me to tell you he'd dropped by," Monica smiled proudly like she'd done me some great service by telling me.

"Was his daughter with him?"

"No, he was alone," Monica shook her head. I pursed my lips and turned and went into my office and slammed the door. Why the hell had that scumbag Duncan come to the firm? To insult me more? Or maybe… to apologise? No, that was wishful thinking. Duncan didn't feel an ounce of guilt for what he'd done to me, he'd made that perfectly clear. But that didn't explain why he'd come, or why he hadn't wanted me to know he'd been here. I groaned in frustration, resting my head in my arms on my desk. I really thought I was done with Duncan, yet here he was again, in my head.

* * *

By the time I got home that night, it was around 10pm and Scott was already out with his friends. I knew that I should call my parents and tell them about the engagement like I'd promised Scott I would, but I just couldn't do it yet. I knew they thought Scott was beneath me, and I had enough doubts already. Instead I ordered a pizza and did the other thing I'd told Scott I would do; look through my wedding folder.

It wasn't hard to find, but it was hard to get to. It was in a box at the back of the highest shelf of the walk in robe. I pulled it down and took it to the couch in the lounge, sighing as I sat it on the coffee table. I really didn't want to do this. The thought of marrying Scott made me feel sick.

Yet again I wished I had someone to confide in. Someone to tell me it was alright to have doubts but that Scott and I were meant for each other. How was it that I'd let myself go my entire life without really getting close to anyone? _Oh wait, I did get close to two people, once. And they showed me what my friendship and trust was worth_, I thought bitterly. I picked up my phone and flicked through my contacts, hoping to find a name that meant something to me. Of course, my stupid brain made me hover over Duncan's name. I once again wondered why he'd come in to the office last Friday. Should I call him and find out? Should I tell him I'm engaged? Maybe it would make him jealous. I scoffed at my own foolish thoughts. What could possess me to think Duncan would care about me enough to want to know that I was engaged, let alone feel strongly enough for me to be _jealous_?

I shook of my thoughts of Duncan and began to flick through my wedding folder. It wasn't really as organised as I would have liked, I'd never implemented a system when adding to it, so all the earliest stuff was at the front and the later things at the back. I smiled to myself as I flicked through the pages, shaking my head at the horrible gowns and decorations thirteen year old me had thought suitable. The dresses we're seriously over the top princess type gowns… not too dissimilar from the one I'd worn during Total Drama World Tour when… never mind.

As I flipped through the pages I saw my tastes change but still nothing jumped out at me. No dress, cake, location or decorations. I'd even jotted down some music suggestions, which I rolled my eyes at now. I got to a page where I'd obviously been dating my first boyfriend, as I'd written "_Mrs Courtney Lloyd._"I shuddered at the thought of Ian Lloyd, the snobbish, perfect guy of my dreams. Or so I thought at fifteen. I'd also written "_He likes Tchaikovsky!_" with a heart next to it.

"Ugh," I said aloud. What was so great about Tchaikovsky anyway? Although it was better than country music, that was for sure. Luckily I'd broken up with Ian when I'd been accepted on Total Drama, telling him that I had to broaden my horizons and he would only hold me back. To be honest I don't think I ever really liked that guy, but he was perfect on paper.

Then the pages became obviously influenced by Duncan. Which was strange, because I'd never consciously thought about marrying Duncan. At least not in a serious way. I didn't realise at the time that I was adding these things that they were influenced by Duncan. But sure enough, the dresses were more revealing and some had black beading or black lace, the jewellery was sharper, the hairstyles were down and not up, which was how I knew Duncan liked it. An inexplicable feeling of sadness welled up inside me, knowing that at sixteen I'd wanted to marry Duncan, without even realising it.

I continued flicking through the pages, feeling a horrible sense of nostalgia, until I got to the end, which also marked the end of my relationship with Duncan. The last thing in the folder was a plastic pocket with a CD in it. I was confused for a moment, wondering if he'd made me a CD and I just hadn't remembered, but then I realised, _I'd _made the CD for him, and just never got around to giving it to him. I couldn't remember what was on it and I knew it would be a bad idea to listen to it. I'd had enough reminiscing for one night. So I closed the folder (there was nothing suitable for a wedding with Scott in there anyway) and poured myself a glass of wine.

I sat back on the couch, drinking my wine and flicking through the TV channels, but I kept glancing at the folder, feeling a strong urge to grab the CD and put it on. _Don't do it, Courtney, it will only make you sad, _the reasonable part of my brain told me. _Yeah, but you're already sad, _said the stupid part. Listening to the stupid part (something I hadn't done in a long time) I grabbed the CD and slid it into the CD player and the music started blaring.

_Guess this means you're sorry, you're standing at my door. Guess this means you take back all you said before, like how much you wanted anyone but me, said you'd never come back but here you are again…_

Of course I'd put Kelly Clarkson on the CD. It was probably full of music Duncan would hate. But this song did pretty much sum up our relationship.

"'CAUSE WE BELONG TOGETHER NOW, YEAH! FOREVER UNITED HERE SOMEHOW, YEAH! YOU GOT A PIECE OF ME, AND HONESTLY, MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU!" I sang along at the top of my voice. I then found myself dancing around while singing into the TV remote, like I was sixteen years old again. Except I'd never done this at sixteen, because apparently I hated fun.

"Being with you is so dysfunctional, I really shouldn't miss you, but I can't let you go…" I stopped dancing and flopped back onto the couch, feeling sad again. It was dumb, but I _did _miss him. Even after everything he'd done to me. I wondered if I'd given him this CD whether things would have turned out different. Maybe he would have seen that I really did love him, even if I wasn't very good at showing it.

I sighed and thought again about calling him and asking him why he'd come to my work. But surely if he wanted to talk to me he would just call me?

The next song that came on was Crazier by Taylor Swift and I let out a snort of laughter, knowing Duncan really would have hated this CD. He probably would have dumped me on the spot had I actually given it to him.

_You lift my feet of the ground, you spin me around, you make me crazier, crazier…_ God, yes he did make me crazy. And not in a good way. The next song was Celine Dion and it became clear that I had made this CD to torture Duncan. I decided then that I'd had enough listening to this stupid CD. It was making me feel things I didn't want to feel. I put it back in the wedding folder and put the folder back in the closet.

I got into bed and tried to sleep, but the house felt too silent without the music blaring or Scott snoring so I put the radio on, trusting Scott to turn it off when he got home if I fell asleep. Unfortunately, the radio was a big mistake. The songs they were playing made me feel much worse than the ones on the CD. The lyrics seemed to be getting progressively more likely to make me cry.

_I never meant to fall for you but I was buried underneath and all I that I could see was white._

I couldn't help feeling like some stupid part of me was still in love with Duncan.

_Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?_

I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I choked back a sob.

_I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed, 'cause you broke all your promises._

I picked up my phone, ready to call him and demand he tell me why he'd shown up at my work when I wasn't there. I put the phone back down before I did something stupid. Sleep still wouldn't come and I couldn't bring myself to turn off the radio. What good would it do now anyway? I was already a mess.

_Not really sure how to feel about it. Something in the way you move makes me feel like I can't live without you, and it takes me all the way. I want you to stay._

I picked up my phone again and typed a message. Simple and to the point.

**I'm engaged. **

And then I pressed send before I could change my mind.

* * *

**Ok I seriously don't even know what I'm writing anymore. Who knows where this will go?**

**How do you think Duncan will respond to Courtney's text message? Should Courtney end up with Scott or Duncan or neither of them?**

**Also it should be known that while Courtney hates country music, I personally love it haha**

**Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter! xx**


	7. Bring Me Down

**Bring Me Down**

_If you would only stay gone, maybe I could move on_

After I sent the message I stared at my phone for a moment, wondering what had possessed me to send it. It wasn't like the message was a confession of love or anything, but I regretted that it was midnight and Duncan would now know I was thinking of him. And that I thought he would care that I was engaged. I put the phone down, I didn't really expect a reply. He was probably asleep with Gwen in his arms. But surprisingly, after only a few seconds, my phone buzzed with a message from him.

**Congratulations.**

Was that it? I sighed. I don't know why I was disappointed when I hadn't even expected him to reply at all. There was nothing for me to say to his congratulations so I put my phone down again, but a second later I got another message.

**I mean, I assume you're happy about it.**

Was it my imagination, or did he actually care? I hesitated, my thumbs hovering over the keypad. Should I reply honestly?

**I don't know yet. **

His response was quick.

**Is he there now?**

** No.**

A second later my phone started ringing, with Duncan's name on the screen.

"Why are you calling me?" I asked.

"I hate texting."

"Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Shouldn't you?" Duncan retorted. I said nothing, waiting for him to tell me why he was calling. "Are you busy tomorrow night?"

"I guess not. Why?" I asked.

"You should come over after you finish work. I put Ariel to bed at eight, you could come round after that," Duncan suggested.

"I'm still mad at you," I told him.

"And I'm still mad at you."

"What about Gwen?" I reminded him.

"She won't be here," Duncan said.

"Fine," I agreed after a moment. God knows why. Alright maybe I did know why. I wanted to see him, ridiculous as it was. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

We both hung up and I turned off the radio. Scott arrived home half an hour later, and I pretended to be asleep.

The next day at work I was nervous all day. I couldn't decide if I should actually go and see Duncan or not. I told him I would, but that was in the middle of the night when I was feeling vulnerable. And, like I'd said before, I didn't owe him anything. I wouldn't feel bad if I just stood him up, it was what he deserved after all. I felt like I _should _stand him up. That was what the logical part of me said I should do. But I really did want to see him.

At 8pm when everyone else had gone home, I started packing up my stuff, still not sure if I was going to go to Duncan's place or not. I did know that if I was going to go, I wasn't going to be on time. I didn't want to seem eager. So I packed up slowly, then I went to the bathroom. I fixed my hair in the mirror, re-pinning all the loose strands, before deciding to take them all out altogether and wear it loose. I touched up my make up and undid a couple of buttons on my shirt. Ugh, what was I doing? I shouldn't go. I hated Duncan.

But I did go. I drove to the address he had messaged me, an apartment block not too far from his work, and pressed the button of the number of his apartment. He buzzed me up without saying a word. I guess he wasn't expecting anyone else tonight. I walked upstairs and knocked on the door, butterflies filling my stomach as I waited for him to open it. My heart did a flip in my chest when I finally saw him and I knew I was in trouble. His hair and clothes were a mess, but looked great anyway. He grinned when he saw me and gestured for me to come in.

"You actually came," he observed. "I was expecting you to stand me up."

"Believe me, I seriously considered it," I responded shrewdly. He just smirked and closed the door behind me.

"Have you eaten?" he asked, heading into the kitchen.

"No actually," I said, realising how hungry I was.

"I've got some lasagne left over, do you want some?" he offered.

"Sure."

I snooped around his living room while he heated up the lasagne. It was a pretty nice place, but I guessed that was Gwen's doing, not Duncan's. There wasn't many pictures around the place, just one of Duncan, Gwen and Ariel, where Ariel was in the middle and both her parents were holding her hands. There was even a bookshelf, which I thought was weird since I didn't think either Gwen or Duncan were big on reading books, but on closer inspection they were mostly children's books, most likely read to Ariel by one of her parents.

Duncan came in and handed me a plate of lasagne, then sat beside me on the couch.

"Did you make this or did Gwen?" I asked suspiciously as I bit into it. It was really good and I was under the impression that neither Gwen nor Duncan could cook very well. Much like myself as it turned out.

"Courtney…" Duncan said slowly.

"Mmm?"

"There's something you should know about Gwen…" he hesitated, like he was nervous to tell me or something.

"What is it?" I asked worriedly.

"She's… a terrible cook," he said finally, grinning as he said it. I rolled my eyes and punched him in the arm.

"You idiot! I thought you were going to say she died or something horrible like that," I huffed.

"Would you really care if she did?" Duncan raised an eyebrow.

"Of course I'd care! I'm not that heartless," I scoffed.

"Sure you aren't," Duncan snorted.

"I'm not!" I insisted. "You're the heartless one!"

"Despite countless years trying to deny it, I actually do have a heart," Duncan said forcefully.

"Oh yeah? Why don't you prove it?" I snapped, narrowing my eyes. Duncan immediately grabbed my hand and pulled it to his chest, allowing me to feel his rapid heartbeat. My own heart was beating just as fast, the simple contact of his hand over mine on his chest feeling more intimate than anything Scott and I had ever done. I found myself hoping he wouldn't let go. "Do you believe me now?" he whispered, leaning in close.

"In the face of such evidence I suppose I have to," I replied, surprised I could form a coherent sentence with the way I was feeling. Duncan finally let go of my hand.

"You want to watch a movie?" he asked. I nodded in response. "What do you want to watch?"

"You're actually asking me?" I questioned, surprised. We used to fight over what movie to watch all the time, neither of us wanted to watch whatever lame movie the other wanted.

"Doesn't mean I'll agree," Duncan smirked. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I don't care… as long as it's nothing romantic," I said. Watching romantic movies was something you made your boyfriend do (or fiancé), not something you did with your ex who you were trying very hard (but not succeeding) to crush your feelings for.

"Thank god for that," Duncan said in relief. He opened the cabinet next to the TV to reveal an extensive collection of DVDs. Figures, all the illegal shit he's done in his life, but he actually _buys _DVDs. He put in a movie called "Now You See Me" which he apparently hadn't seen yet, and neither had I. He poured us both a glass of wine before turning off the lights and returning to the couch next to me. I may have been imagining it, but it seemed like he was sitting a lot closer than before.

Luckily the movie was compelling and I got caught up in the story, forgetting that it was Duncan who was next to me. Although, when something dramatic happened, I forgot a little _too _much, and I gripped Duncan's thigh, digging my fingernails in, watching the car chase, hoping the guy would get away. Duncan brought me back to reality by slipping his hand over mine and interlocking his fingers with mine, so that I would loosen my grip.

"Oh, sorry," I blushed.

"It's fine," he laughed. "You're stronger than you realise." He went back to watching the movie but he didn't let go of my hand this time and I didn't pull away. Instead I rested my head against his shoulder and pulled my feet up onto the couch, snuggling up to him. It felt kind of natural to be with Duncan, as well as kind of exciting, knowing now, from the way his thumb brushed over my hand, and the way he leant his head against mine, that he wanted to be with me too. Not "be with" in the sense of a relationship, but just in the sense of enjoying the closeness of the other person.

The movie was over too soon and I knew I had to go, before this went any further, no matter how much I might want it to. I had a fiancé to go home to, and I knew he would be upset had he known where I was, though technically I'd done nothing wrong so far, right?

I stood up and Duncan walked me to the door, not bothering to turn the lights back on.

"Come again tomorrow?" he asked as we stood by the door in the dark.

"I don't know Duncan…" I said reluctantly.

"Well, I'll be here," he said. I nodded and we looked at each other in silence for a moment. I thought he might kiss me, but instead he just shook my hand awkwardly. "Bye," he said, ushering me out the door. I frowned at him questioningly, wondering why he was suddenly so eager to get rid of me. "Don't want to do anything you might regret," he shrugged, closing the door.

I turned away and began walking down the hallway to the lift. I drove home to Scott, who was already asleep by the time I crawled into bed next to him. I reminded myself I had nothing to feel guilty about. So Duncan and I had held hands, big deal. Nothing was going to come of it. We _both _had fiancés, and we were both responsible adults who could hang out and watch movies together without something… untoward happening. We were far more likely to get into an argument than anything else.

My feelings were irrelevant and not something I could control anyway. Scott need never know I _wanted _to kiss Duncan, as long as I never actually did it. And he ever found out that I'd seen Duncan and not told him about it… well I was sure I could talk my way out of it, but I would deal with that if it ever happened.

I closed my eyes, thinking about the last thing he said to me.

_Don't want to do anything you might regret. _He must have been thinking the same things as me. He wanted me as much as I wanted him, surely. But he knew he'd regret it if he messed it up with Gwen again. Which made me wonder why he was even bothering with me. If Gwen found out we'd been hanging out, surely she'd be upset about it, whether or not we'd done anything worse than hold hands. It wasn't likely she'd believe it anyway, considering how she and Duncan got together in the first place. So wasn't he already doing things he might regret?

That's when it occurred to me, he hadn't said he didn't want to do anything _he'd _regret. _Don't want to do anything you might regret. _You. As in me. He didn't want to do anything I might regret. Did that mean if something happened between us he wouldn't regret it? Was he more concerned for how I might suffer for it than for his own relationship with Gwen? Or was it just a phrase, a misplaced word that I was reading too much in to, and he had meant to say _we _and not _you. _

Regardless, I found myself imagining what might happen the next time I went to Duncan's. For I had no doubt now that I would go again. And as long as nothing I imagined actually happened, I wasn't being unfaithful, right?

* * *

**Note: Ok but seriously guys what do you think Courtney should do... Duncan or Scott or neither... because I can't decide.**


	8. State of Grace

**State of Grace**

_These are the hands of fate, you're my Achilles heel._

"You didn't tell your parents," Scott made his way into the kitchen where I was hurriedly buttering some toast. I stopped buttering when he spoke and looked at him guiltily.

"I'm sorry… I guess I just forgot," I lied. "I've been really busy at work, it must have slipped my mind. How did you find out I hadn't told them?"

"I rang them last night to see if they wanted to come out for dinner on Saturday night to celebrate. My parents thought they might make the trip in to the city as well," Scott said, still clearly disappointed in me. I felt a surge of annoyance at him. He had no right to be disappointed in me. They were my parents and this was my life and he was pressuring me into things I didn't want to do.

"Oh, what did they say?" I asked shortly.

"They said they'd be happy to," Scott answered.

"Great. I'll be home late tonight, don't wait up," I snapped, grabbing my toast and heading towards the door. I had to be in court today and I needed to have a briefing with the client before the trial started so I didn't want to be late.

"Wait, why are you dressed so nice?" Scott asked suspiciously, taking in my considerably shorter than normal skirt and extra time I'd taken with my hair and make up. It didn't really worry me that he was suspicious, I knew he knew nothing about Duncan and it was just like him to get jealous for no reason.

"Dwayne Howard's trial starts today. The judge is a man," I explained. Not totally a lie, though not the reason I was trying harder than usual. I'd given up trying to pretend like I didn't want Duncan, and it would be nice to make him sweat a little, so I'd decided to dress a little sexier. No big deal, Duncan already said he wasn't going to do anything so it was really just to tease him. And I didn't really give a fuck what Scott thought about it so I walked out of the apartment and slammed the door behind me.

* * *

I didn't bother taking my ring off today as I was going to be in court all day and wouldn't see any of my colleagues. I expected by the time I got back to the office everyone would be gone. I didn't really need to go back to the office, but I couldn't go to Duncan's until 8pm, when he put Ariel to bed, and court was dismissed at 5pm.

Unfortunately, Monica was still there and she noticed the ring immediately.

"Oh my god, is that…?" she squealed, grabbing my left hand. "You're engaged?" she looked up to me for confirmation. I nodded curtly. "When?" she demanded.

"On the weekend," I answered tiredly.

"And you kept it a secret? Why?" she was still admiring the ring.

"Just… wanted to keep it to myself for a few days," I said with a strained smile.

"Aww! Well, congratulations! You're so lucky. Scott is such a great guy! I'm heading home now," Monica smiled. "I didn't think I'd see you for the rest of the week. Aren't you in court?" she remembered.

"Yeah… I just had some stuff for another case I had to… check," I lied. Monica gave me a look of confusion before shrugging and heading out to her car.

"Bye, Courtney! Congrats again!" she called. I sighed as I walked to my office, knowing everyone at work would know of my engagement by tomorrow. Monica was such a blabbermouth.

I tried to do some work but I couldn't focus, I kept thinking about seeing Duncan. I wondered if it was pathetic to wait at work for two and a half hours just to see him. Maybe I should just go now. I'd met Ariel before, it's not like he was against me seeing her. Surely me coming around later was just for my benefit, so I didn't have to wait while he got her ready for bed? Or maybe Gwen would be there. Maybe the real reason I had to wait was because Gwen would be around until eight and then she would go… somewhere. Although if that was the case, he would have just told me. It was no secret he was with Gwen.

I ordered some chinese and at that, but at seven thirty I decided I couldn't wait any longer and I drove to Duncan's place. He buzzed me up without a word again, so I guessed it must have been fine that I was early. He opened the door with Ariel in his arms.

"You're early," he stated.

"Yeah I…" I started. I realised now I looked way too eager, showing up half an hour early. He must have thought I was a total idiot. Luckily Ariel saved me from having to come up with an explanation.

"Hey, it's you," she said.

"Uh, yep. It's me!" I agreed. Duncan waved me inside and closed the door behind me.

"You're about to go to bed, aren't you princess?" he asked his daughter. Ariel shook her head.

"I'm not tired anymore," she said, followed by a huge yawn.

"If you go to bed, Courtney will tell you a story," Duncan promised. I looked at him frantically with a shake of my head. He just grinned and turned back to Ariel. "How does that sound?"

"Okay," Ariel agreed, somewhat reluctantly. "But Daddy, you can't listen. It's got to be a secret girl story, like when Mommy tells me," she asserted.

"Deal," Duncan laughed. He carried Ariel to her bed and I followed behind, wondering what kind of story I was expected to tell. Ariel snuggled down beneath her covers and grinned at me as I sat on the bed next to her.

"Goodnight, princess, I love you," Duncan said, giving his daughter a kiss before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

"Okay, tell the story now," Ariel demanded.

"Uh… what do you want to hear a story about?" I asked her.

"A princess," she informed me.

"Alright…" I said nervously. "Once there was a princess… she… she didn't have any friends because she was so focused on becoming queen that she didn't realise nobody liked her. One day she entered a competition so that she could become the queen. She tried very hard not to let anyone get in her way but there was this extremely annoying boy…"

"Was he a prince?" Ariel interjected.

"No. At least, the princess didn't think he was a prince. She thought he was a peasant. The peasant boy was always trying to get the princess to admit how much she liked him, but the princess kept refusing. But no matter how hard she tried to ignore him, the peasant boy kept trying, until eventually the princess realised that she really did like him… and she kissed him. Even though the princess and the peasant fought all the time and could never agree on anything, she loved him a lot and she thought they were going to get married one day."

"Did they live happily ever after?" Ariel asked.

"No… unfortunately their love was not meant to be. The princess thought she was better than the peasant and kept trying to turn him into a prince. Since he wouldn't turn into a prince she treated him like a peasant. Then there came an evil enchantress who was in love with the peasant, and even though he tried to resist at first, he eventually fell under her spell and they ran away together. The princess was heartbroken and she vowed to never trust anyone again. She spent the rest of her life hating the enchantress and the peasant," I continued.

"This story is sad. I don't like the evil enchantress," Ariel frowned.

"It is sad, because what the princess didn't realise was the peasant was actually a prince all along, and that maybe she was the evil one, not the enchantress," I said. Ariel reached up and touched my cheek and it was only then that I realised I was crying.

"Did the enchantress and the prince live happily ever after?" Ariel asked. I nodded. "Then why are you crying? The good guys won and the evil princess was unhappy," Ariel pointed out.

"Yes, I suppose you're right," I smiled. "Do you think the princess deserves to be unhappy?" I asked her. She thought for a moment.

"I don't think so, everyone should be happy. But maybe the princess just needs to be nice to the prince from now on," Ariel said.

"Yeah, maybe she does," I smiled. "Are you going to go to sleep now?" I asked her. She nodded and immediately closed her eyes. I chuckled and stood up, wiping my face as I walked to the door to eliminate any trace of tears. I was startled to see Duncan leaning against the wall outside the door.

"Everything went okay?" he asked. I nodded.

"She said she's going to sleep. We're you listening?" I questioned.

"Nope," Duncan denied, although I wasn't completely convinced. "Want some food?"

"I already ate, thanks," I responded. Duncan nodded and led me back out to the living room.

"I think she likes you," Duncan said, referring to Ariel.

"Really?" I asked, not entirely believing him.

"Yeah, I mean she was happy for you to tell her a story. And she went to sleep after you did," Duncan pointed out.

"I guess," I shrugged like it was no big deal, but secretly it was kind of nice that Duncan's daughter liked me.

"Hey I have a question. Where's Gwen?" I asked.

"Why do you care? Looking to catch up on all times?" Duncan rolled his eyes.

"What if I did? I'm hanging out with you aren't I?" I retorted.

"Yeah, but I'm hot," Duncan said with a straight face. I raised my eyebrows at him and then burst into laughter. "I'm not joking!" Duncan defended, but he was smiling.

"You're an idiot," I grinned, giving him a playful shove. He grabbed my hand and fell back onto the couch, dragging me with him, acting like my small gesture had pushed him over. Suddenly I was kneeling over him, and he hand one hand wrapped around my wrist and the other against the small of my back, pressing me to him, and the laughter died as my breath caught in my throat. Our faces were so close that our noses nearly touched and I was caught entirely in the moment that I almost forgot I wasn't allowed to kiss him.

"Why do you have to be so enticing?" Duncan whispered. I nearly gave in at those words, I wanted so badly to pull his mouth to mine and devour him, but instead I just gave a small whimper as I disentangled myself from him and stood up.

"I should go," I said quietly.

"No, don't go," Duncan said, almost pleadingly. "I can control myself, I swear," he grinned. _But can I? _I wondered. I hesitated a moment but decided to stay. I sat back down on the couch next to him, leaving a good distance between us, hoping to ease the tension and cool off a little so that I could function properly.

"So, uh, what happened with you list?" I asked.

"What list?" Duncan looked at me quizzically.

"You know, people you wanted to make amends with," I prompted.

"Oh that. You were the last one on it," he shrugged.

"I was last? Why?" I pressed, slightly offended.

"I knew you'd be the hardest," he explained. It didn't escape me that he still hadn't apologised to me. But then I hadn't apologised to him either. Telling that story to Ariel made me realise I hadn't exactly been all that kind to Duncan. But what he had done to me was way worse, and I would never apologise before he did. We sat awkwardly in silence, the past hanging over us like a dark cloud, ruining the mood. Although perhaps that was for the best.

"Want to play a board game?" Duncan finally broke the silence.

"A board game, really?" I asked sceptically. He really had turned into a dad.

"We could make it interesting…" Duncan wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Duncan…" I warned, giving him my sternest look.

"What? I meant we could turn it into a drinking game," Duncan said innocently. "Unless you're scared," he dared.

"That does not work on me anymore," I informed him.

"Okay, sure whatever." Duncan said casually.

"But… it might be fun?" I gave in. Duncan grinned and ran off to get the game and the alcohol. I knew drinking in Duncan's presence probably wasn't the smartest idea, but it was better than what I originally thought he was suggesting, which was taking all our clothes off.

Duncan returned with a half full bottle of vodka, two shot glasses and Snakes and Ladders.

"If you land on a snake you have to take a shot," Duncan instructed, sitting on the floor.

"Okay," I agreed, joining him on the floor.

"Also if you land on a ladder."

"Duncan!"

"Okay, just snakes then," Duncan grinned.

I don't know if Duncan somehow rigged the board, but we both seemed to keep landing on snakes, and an hour later we were still only half way up the board and both of us were off our faces. I rolled the dice and moved four spaces, then poured myself a shot.

"That's a ladder, you idiot!" Duncan laughed as I threw back the shot.

"Oh whoops," I started giggling uncontrollably. "Also, we're out of vodka." I shook the bottle.

"Okay from now on every time you land on a snake you have to remove an article of clothing," Duncan winked. Or at least he tried to wink but it was more like a wonky blink since he was so drunk.

"Fine," I agreed, (stupidly). Duncan rolled and immediately landed on a snake, so he pulled his shirt off. I tried hard not to stare but I don't think I was very successful as I could see Duncan smirking at me.

"Roll the die, princess," Duncan commanded. I did as I was told and managed not to land on a snake, much to Duncan's disappointment. I got through three rolls without landing on a snake.

"This game is dumb," I slurred, screwing up my nose.

"You agreed to the rules!" Duncan reminded me. I sighed and started unbuttoning my top with Duncan watching me hungrily. I looked him in the eye as I undid each button slowly and seductively.

"You're right, this game is dumb," Duncan said huskily as I threw the top to the ground.

"We should stop before this goes any further," I whispered. Duncan nodded in agreement. I felt my head start to spin from the alcohol so I lay down on the ground. "Remember that time we stole food from Chef's fridge?" I giggled.

"'Course," Duncan grinned, lying down beside me. "I remember everything about that night." He propped himself up on one elbow and looked down on me. "I knew you'd come to check on me in the fish cabin." He said as he began absentmindedly (or perhaps consciously, who knows) tracing shapes on my bare stomach. I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation of his fingertips across my skin.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"I knew you wanted me," he said knowingly.

"How could you know? I didn't even know," I laughed.

"Took you long enough to figure it out," Duncan murmured, his fingers snaking lower, down to the top of my skirt. I bit my lip, knowing I had to stop him. My eyes snapped open and I grabbed his hand.

"That's enough," I warned. Duncan held his hands up and I grabbed my top, standing up, feeling a little dizzy. "I need to go home."

"You can't drive," Duncan pointed out.

"I can't stay here!" I snapped.

"At least let me call you a taxi," Duncan implored.

"Okay. Thanks."

The taxi was there in five minutes and I got in and told the driver my address, all the while feeling the lingering touch of Duncan's hands on me, and wondering if I could be so strong as to make him stop next time.

* * *

**Can't believe I actually finished this chapter when I have so much else I'm meant to be doing...**

**I literally start each chapter with an idea in mind of where it's going to end up, but it never seems to go the way I plan haha so I hope you're all enjoying it!**

**Thanks for all your opinions on who Courtney should pick, I think I know how it's going to end now but I'll keep it a secret for now (although y'all will probably guess haha)**

**Don't know when the next update will be, sorry if it's not for a while! **

**Have a nice weekend! xx**


	9. I Can't Stay Away

**I Can't Stay Away**

_I'm conflicted, I inhale, now I'm addicted._

I was not exactly on my game the next day in court, as I had a terrible headache and was feeling pretty sick. It really was a stupid to get drunk last night, I really don't know what I was thinking. No wait, I did know, and I hadn't been thinking at all. At least Scott had been asleep when I got home, and still asleep when I left in the morning. I'd had to leave extra early, to get a taxi to Duncan's to pick up my car.

Duncan hadn't invited me over again and I thought it was probably a good thing. I let things get too far last night and with the way things were going it wouldn't be too long before I could no longer say I was faithful to Scott. Even now I knew it was only a technicality. Duncan and I hadn't kissed or had sex, so that meant I hadn't cheated on Scott. But deep down I knew what I was doing was almost as bad, especially since I hadn't even told Scott I'd seen Duncan.

I went straight home after court was dismissed and Scott seemed pleased to see me, obviously over the fact that I hadn't told my parents about the engagement when I said I would. He clearly wasn't phased about not seeing me last night either. I was still annoyed at him though, but I did my best to pretend I was fine. I didn't have to try very hard, Scott was easily fooled.

It was around 8:30pm when we'd finished dinner and were watching TV on the couch that I got a message from Duncan.

**Sorry about last night. I know I stepped over the line.**

I was amazed that this new Duncan knew how to apologise. For some things at least.

** It's fine. You weren't the only one.**

A couple of seconds later I got a reply.

**If it's fine, then why aren't you here?**

I was surprised at his response. I had assumed he didn't want me there. Did he actually miss me?

"Everything alright, angel?" Scott asked me.

"Yeah, babe, fine," I answered absentmindedly.

**You didn't invite me, **I sent to Duncan

**You don't need an invitation**

** I think it's best if we take some time to cool off anyway**

** You're right**

I shouldn't have been disappointed with that answer, but I was. But it was for the best. Things couldn't keep progressing the way they had been. I decided not to reply, there wasn't much else to say. A minute later my phone started ringing. Seeing that it was Duncan, I took it into the bedroom, mumbling something to Scott about a client at work.

"What is it?" I snapped, trying to sound like I was annoyed he'd called, though I wasn't at all.

"Come out for dinner with me tomorrow night?" Duncan proposed.

"Duncan, we literally just agreed we should take some time to cool off!" I said exasperatedly, speaking softly so Scott wouldn't hear.

"I changed my mind," Duncan chuckled.

"Well I didn't!" I whispered forcefully. It was hard to sound assertive when trying to be quiet.

"Aw come on! We'll go to a restaurant, if we're in public then we won't be able to touch each other. It'll be fine!" Duncan assured me.

"And what if someone sees us?" I pointed out.

"We'll say it's the first time we've seen each other," Duncan replied. He seemed to have this all figured out.

"What about Ariel?" I reminded him of his daughter that he could obviously not leave home alone.

"Gwen will look after her," Duncan said as if it were obvious.

"The ever elusive Gwen," I muttered.

"Well?" Duncan asked.

"Fine. You can pick me up from work at seven thirty," I told him.

"Yes ma'am!" Duncan laughed. I rolled my eyes as I hung up the phone, but my insides churned with excitement. _This is not a date, _I reminded myself, _you're engaged, remember? _I walked back out to the living room to my fiancé.

"What are you so happy about?" he asked, noticing my smile.

"Nothing really," I replied, giving him a kiss to placate him.

"You want to go to bed?" Scott said, meaning he wanted to have sex. Despite my pent up sexual emotions, I knew that Scott could not fix that for me, and honestly the thought of him grunting over me right now was such a turn off.

"No, I'm tired. I think I'm going to go to sleep," I said. Scott nodded in disappointment as I headed off to bed. Though I was in bed so early, I didn't sleep for ages, I was thinking too much about my date with Duncan the next night.

"What's with all the dresses?" Scott asked sleepily, waking up as I dumped a pile of dresses on the bed.

"I'm going out after work tonight, I'm trying to decide what to wear," I replied.

"Don't you normally just wear your work clothes?" Scott questioned.

"Yes, but… we're going somewhere fancy tonight. Colin says we should dress up," I lied.

"Colin?" Scott asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, you know Colin. Who I work with."

"Just you and Colin?" Scott continued, a little worriedly. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Relax, Scott, I'm not cheating on you with Colin. Everyone's going, even the boss," I said soothingly. Scott nodded, seemingly mollified by my words, and rolled over and went back to sleep. Lying to Scott was becoming easier and easier and I hardly even felt bad about it anymore.

I chose a dress, picked up some shoes to go with it and headed to work.

When court was dismissed for the day, the trial done and dusted, (my client won of course), I headed back to the office where I had told Duncan to pick me up. I obviously couldn't allow him to get me from home, since Scott would be there. I guess I could have just driven myself to the restaurant, but the thought had even really occurred to me.

I put the dress on and did my hair and make-up. The dress was black satin and though it wasn't super tight, it was still kind of figure hugging and revealing, and I wondered if I was trying too hard, and maybe I looked too sexy for a man who I wasn't supposed to be really even seeing, let alone trying to impress. But then I decided I was allowed to look sexy. It wasn't like once a woman was engaged she was forbidden to dress up, and if Scott thought that well then he probably wasn't the man for me anyway. I brushed away thoughts that told me Scott _wasn't _the man for me. I mean if he wasn't, wouldn't I have broken up with him by now? I wasn't like I needed a man. But I knew I was lying to myself. I was with Scott because I didn't want to break his heart. I knew I would have to make a decision in the near future, I couldn't keep going on like this for much longer. I either had to break up with Scott or commit to him. And committing to him didn't necessarily mean not seeing Duncan anymore, but it meant I would have to tell Scott I was friends with him, and I'd have to make sure we never did anything that could be considered _more _than friends.

Duncan showed up at seven thirty on the dot. He stopped dead when he saw me and just stared for a moment.

"Uh, hello?" I called him back to reality.

"Sorry, you just look really… nice," he squeaked lamely. I raised my eyebrows at him and he cleared his throat. "Come on, the taxi's waiting outside."

"Taxi? You aren't driving?" I said disapprovingly.

"I wasn't sure we could trust ourselves to be alone in a car together," he explained, a little sheepishly. "Looking at you now, I know I was right."

Duncan looked pretty good himself actually. Oh who am I kidding, he looked incredibly hot. Guys always look ten times better when they dress up and Duncan was no exception. He smirked at me when he caught me checking him out.

"Come on, princess," he said, opening the door of the taxi for me then going around to sit in the front with the driver. Duncan gave the driver the address and he took us to a small, out of the way restaurant.

"I know you don't want to risk being seen," Duncan explained once we were out of the taxi.

"Does Harold own this place too?" I asked sarcastically.

"Harold? No. This is DJ's place," Duncan grinned. I stared at him open mouthed.

"But what if he tells Gwen or Scott…" I started. Duncan gave a reassuring smile as he placed his hand on the small of my back to guide me into the restaurant.

"Relax! He won't be here. He owns a heap of restaurants. He cooks in couple of them occasionally, but not this one," Duncan assured me as we went inside.

"Didn't DJ's food kill some people once?" I remembered worriedly as a waiter lead us to our table, Duncan's hand still unnecessarily on my back.

"That was like eight years ago," Duncan pointed out, pulling out my chair for me and sitting down across from me.

"So everyone's just forgotten?" I said exasperatedly.

"Yep! Here, have a menu," Duncan passed me that the waiter had just handed to him.

Once I stopped worrying about DJ and his cooking, I was actually able to admire how pretty the restaurant was. Nothing really matched, the chairs were all different, as were the tables, and there were random plants and paintings decorating the place that didn't seem to have any relevance or order. It was charming though, in an offbeat kind of way. There was a small stage in one corner where a band was playing softly. There were a few other people there, but it wasn't crowded.

"This place is nice," I said to Duncan.

"You like it?" Duncan waited for approval.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Was DJ one of the people you had to cross off your list?"

"Yeah. I mean I never really did anything bad or mean to him, but we were teammates once and I never really took the chance to get to know him," Duncan shrugged. "What about you, still keep in touch with anyone from Total Drama?"

"No…" I shook my head. "Apart from Scott that is."

"Right, Scott," Duncan nodded with a bit of a scowl. "Should we order?"

"Sure," I answered, happy for Duncan to keep the conversation away from Scott. True, I needed to remember I was engaged, but that didn't mean I had to spoil the night by talking about it. We ordered our meal and continued to talk, steadfastly ignoring the subjects of Scott and Gwen. Halfway through the meal my phone rang and I picked it up to check who was calling.

"It's Scott," I said, glancing at Duncan.

"Just turn it off," Duncan said. I hesitated a moment before doing as he requested.

"You wanna go for a walk?" Duncan asked after we'd finished our meals.

"Okay," I agreed. Duncan paid, though I protested half heartedly and we made our way out into the cool night air.

"Do you wanna go somewhere where people won't see us, or do you want to stay around people so we don't feel tempted to… act inappropriately?" Duncan asked with a smirk. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I think I can control myself," I snorted, meaning it. Honestly, Duncan was so full of himself. Duncan grinned and ducked down a seemingly random alley without checking to see if I was following. I stopped and stared after him for a moment, wondering if he expected me to go after him, or whether he was just being an idiot. He got to a wire fence blocking his way and started climbing it, so I groaned and went after him.

"What are you doing?" I huffed as he swung his leg over the top of the fence and dropped down to the other side.

"You have to climb over," Duncan instructed.

"No way!" I refused, gesturing to my heels and dress.

"Aw come on!" Duncan pleaded. "You're such a spoil sport!" I glared at him but took off my heels, throwing them over the fence, slightly hoping they would hit Duncan in the head. They didn't however as he caught them and then looked at me expectantly. I sighed and started making my way up the fence.

"Don't look up my dress!" I called down to him as I neared the top. The fence wasn't that high, but it was high enough for him to get a good look.

"I've seen it all before babe!" he called back. I dropped down to the ground next to him and snatched my shoes back.

"And you'll never see it again," I vowed, slipping my shoes back on.

"Whatever you say, princess," Duncan smirked. Why was he always smirking? It really was starting to get on my nerves. Duncan grabbed my hand then and started leading me out the other end of the alley.

"What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously, referring to the hand holding.

"I'm leading you," Duncan said innocently. I had serious doubts about that, but I liked his hand around mine too much to let go. We reached the end of the alley and crossed an empty street to a deserted park.

"How do you know where we're going?" I asked.

"I live near here," Duncan said pointing through the trees in what I assumed was the direction of his apartment, but I was kind of disorientated. Still hand in hand we strolled through the park in silence and I forgot about everything except being close to Duncan. I wondered if his heart was beating as fast as mine. We walked over to a bench and sat down still not talking, but not really feeling the need to. I didn't want to speak and kill the moment. Duncan turned to me and rested his head on my forehead. I closed my eyes and forced myself not to close the small distance between our lips.

"Courtney?" Duncan broke the silence, his voice a little hoarse.

"Mmm?" I responded.

"Can I ask you something?" Duncan continued, turning away.

"Yes…" I said hesitantly. This sounded serious. Duncan didn't say anything and I glanced at him, wondering nervously what he was going to ask. He wouldn't look at me though.

"Why are you with Scott?" he eventually asked, after a long pause. I didn't answer right away. I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't think of a single reason in that moment.

"Because he loves me," I finally answered. Duncan finally looked at me.

"But why did you bother with him in the first place? Why did you get him back after Total Drama?" Duncan persisted. That was a good question, another one that had me a little stumped.

"I guess…" I started. "I guess I wanted to prove that I could," I admitted.

"What do you mean?" Duncan pressed.

"How could I possibly manage to lose two guys on national television and not have my pride take a horrible blow? I had to prove to myself and the world that there wasn't anything wrong with me, that it wasn't my fault and that I could keep a guy," I explained, feeling a little ashamed of the admission.

"I guess I really fucked you up, didn't I?" Duncan snorted.

"You didn't have any affect on me whatsoever, and you still don't," I spat, standing up. How dare he ask me for honesty and then _laugh _at me when I told him the truth?

"Wait, Courtney," Duncan grabbed my wrist before I could walk away. He pulled me back onto the bench and looked me in the eye. "I'm sorry… I just… ugh. I can't stand to think of you with him," he said in disgust. "It makes me so fucking angry at you, at him, at myself because I fucked it all up," Duncan ranted. I felt a twinge in my heart at how obviously torn up he was, and I wanted to do something to make him feel better.

"You shouldn't be with that dirt-eating farm boy. You should be with me," Duncan's voice cracked on that last word, and I couldn't stand it any longer. I crushed my lips to his and heard him moan beneath me as I pulled him closer. He snaked an arm around my waist as his other hand travelled up my thigh and under my dress.

"Duncan…" I whispered desperately into his mouth.

"We can go to my place, no one's home," he told me breathlessly. I nodded and he scooped me up and carried me all the way through his front door. Once he had kicked the door shut behind him he practically threw me against the wall and continued to devour me. He sucked at the pulse point on my wrist, sending electricity running through by body. He made his way up my arm to my neck, holding my arm against the wall once he got there. My other arm was thrown over his shoulder as he pressed up against me and pushed my dress up around my waist.

"You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do this," Duncan growled into my neck. He let go of my arm and pulled one of my legs around his waist as I dragged his lips back to mine. His hands were all over me and yet I felt like no amount of contact was enough. I ran my fingers through his hair and clutched onto his back, pulling him closer as one of his hands found it's way into my underwear, and I whimpered in anticipation. I dug my fingernails into his back as his fingers worked their magic on me, sending me into a state of pure bliss. It was lucky Duncan was holding me so tightly with his other arm because I doubted I could stand on my own.

All too soon Duncan stopped his motions and left me hanging and I gave a cry of indignation. He sniggered to himself as he kissed me again before pulling my dress over my head. I returned the favour, although a little more aggressively, ripping his shirt off, not bothering with the buttons. Duncan grabbed hold of me with both arms, lifting me up and I wrapped my legs around him and he started walking towards to bedroom. We didn't get that far though as he was so busy kissing me he wasn't watching where he was going and he tripped and fell, somehow managing to not harm either of us as we tumbled to the ground.

"Well, here's as good as anywhere," he laughed. I started giggling uncontrollably, but my laughter was cut short when Duncan literally ripped off my underwear.

"Hey!" I protested.

"That's to get you back for the shirt," he grinned. I was about to tell him off, but my anger disappeared when his tongue found its way between my legs and I let out an involuntary gasp. My fingers clenched in Duncan's hair as my head span from the pleasure his tongue was putting me through. He only stopped to plant soft kisses up my stomach and across my breasts before bringing his mouth to mine again.

"That's enough teasing," I decided, reaching for his belt and unbuckling it.

"Yes ma'am," Duncan agreed, helping me in my endeavour until his pants were finally off and he was as naked as me. He flipped my legs over his shoulders and I gripped the carpet beneath me as he thrust into me. My eyes rolled back into my head and I cried out as he sent me over the edge, waves of ecstasy rolling over me again and again until he finally reached his own climax and collapsed on the floor next to me, breathing heavily. His fingers found mine and he clutched my hand, as if he couldn't bear to not be touching me for even a second. I rolled into him and put my lips to his shoulder, watching him intently as his breathing slowly returned to normal. He turned his head to me and smiled at me, his blue eyes sparkling.

_I love you, _I thought hopelessly. Because I did. I knew it was pathetic and sad, but I couldn't help it. I didn't say it out loud though, not wanting to spoil the moment. We lay like that for a minute before Duncan jumped to his feet and pulled me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I shrieked in laughter as he carried me to his bedroom and threw me down on the bed.

"Ready for round two?" he grinned.

* * *

**Okay! Sorry for taking so long with this chapter but hopefully y'all are satisfied, I'm actually quite happy with it haha!**

**If you like it please tell me because I'm insecure and need lots of encouragement lol if you don't like it, also tell me and i will try to improve next time.**

**Oh and I changed the rating to M, you may have noticed.**


	10. Easier to Lie

**Easier to Lie**

_And it's killing me to know you think I'm better than I am_

My eyes fluttered open the next morning and my first sight was the sleeping form of Duncan next to me. I smiled to myself and my heart swelled. I was about to lean over and kiss him till he woke up, until I realised that I _shouldn't _be waking up next to Duncan, for a reason that went by the name of Scott.

I cursed to myself as I rolled out of bed and began looking for my clothes. It took me a few minutes to remember my dress was in the living room and my underwear was now unwearable thanks to Duncan tearing it off me. I dashed out to the living room and slipped my dress on and threw the ruined underwear in the trash. I grabbed my bag and shoes from by the door where they had quickly been abandoned last night.

Once out on the street I turned on my phone to find I had five missed calls from Scott.

"Fuck," I cursed aloud. _What have I done? _I thought, feeling the guilt surge up inside me. I quickly dialled a taxi to take me to my car, where I drove home as fast as possible. I had to tell him. He deserved to know what a horrible person I was.

_You shouldn't be with that dirt-eating farm boy. You should be with me, _Duncan's voice rang in my head. I wanted to be with him, I really did. But it occurred to me now that he had just said it to get me into bed. After all, he was still with Gwen, and he'd shown no inclination of leaving her. Who was I kidding? Duncan didn't give a fuck about me. _Scott _did. And I knew he deserved the truth, even if it would kill him. He'd probably call off the wedding. The thought filled me with relief, though I knew it shouldn't. I wondered if Scott could ever forgive me for sleeping with Duncan. I couldn't even say that I didn't know what I was doing, that I was drunk, or that it was Duncan's idea. _I'd _kissed _him. _And it could hardly be called an accident, not when we'd had sex three times last night, though Scott need never know that. It occurred to me that that was more times than Scott and I had had sex in a month.

I parked my car and raced upstairs, fumbling with my keys as I unlocked the door and stumbling into the bedroom and onto the bed, shaking Scott awake, fully intending on telling him everything. Scott groaned and slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes. He smiled when he saw me.

"Hey, you're home," he said happily.

"Scott…" I started, my voice serious.

"What is it?" Scott asked worriedly.

"I…I…" I stammered. He looked so anxious and distraught that I didn't think I could bear to tell him. What he didn't know, wouldn't hurt him, right? "I… was wondering why you called me so many times," I said, feeling terrible that I couldn't tell him the truth.

"Oh… sorry, I didn't want to interrupt your night out but your parents came early, they got here last night," Scott informed me.

"My parents?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah, you know, for dinner tonight?" Scott reminded me.

"Oh, right," I swallowed.

"They're staying at a hotel somewhere a few blocks away. I thought I might cook tonight, instead of us going out," Scott rambled on as I nodded, only half listening. "Where'd you stay last night anyway?" Scott wondered.

"Oh… uh, Monica's house," I lied. Scott nodded. I couldn't believe the person I'd become. For all the shit I'd given Duncan over the years for cheating on me with Gwen and here I was doing the exact same thing with him. Wasn't I just as bad as he was? Or maybe even worse? At least Gwen was single when they'd hooked up. And looking back I knew I wasn't exactly the nicest girlfriend.

Scott was still babbling on about what we were going to have for dinner, so I lay down on the bed next to him and tried to swallow my feelings of guilt that kept threatening to burst out.

"Alright I'm going to go to the supermarket and get the things I need for tonight, do you wanna come?" Scott asked me. I shook my head. "Okay. Love you, angel!" The term of endearment had never been more of a sham, and I shuddered at the use of it. He gave me a kiss and his lips tasted all wrong.

"I know," I whispered as he went into the bathroom, and my eyes filled with tears.

After Scott left I got in the shower and tried to wash Duncan from my skin. But even if that were possible, I couldn't erase him from my mind. I was in love with him, that much was certain. And I wasn't in love with Scott. But I couldn't hurt Scott anymore than I already had by telling him the truth or breaking up with him. Especially not when we were supposed to be having dinner with his parents and my parents tonight. After staying in the shower for way too long, trying to avoid reality, I finally got out and threw on some clothes. I checked my phone and my heart flipped over when I saw I had a message from Duncan.

**Courtney, I have to tell you something. Call me when you get this, or just come over.**

Well, that was a little disappointing and frankly rather worrying. He had to tell me something? What could he possibly have to tell me? I considered the possibilities in my head. Maybe he wanted to tell me he loved me. _Yeah right Courtney, keep dreaming, _I scolded myself. Maybe he wanted to say that last night was mistake and he didn't want to see me again. That was probably it. After all, he had a fiancée and a daughter to consider. My heart sunk at the thought, which of course was ridiculous. Didn't I already know last night had been a one off thing? Wasn't I fully intending on staying with Scott, at least for the time being? And yet the thought of life without Duncan filled me with dread.

My phone starting ringing and I grabbed it eagerly, expecting it to be Duncan. I was sorely disappointed, however, when I saw that it was my mother.

"Courtney, we're downstairs, let us in," she ordered before immediately hanging up. I scowled but did as I was told. "Where were you last night?" she demanded as soon as she saw me. My father just nodded at me and stroked his moustache. "We had to spend time with your dreadfully dull fiancé," my mother shuddered. She walked inside and made herself at home, my father trailing along behind and sitting on the couch beside her.

"Wow, thanks Mom. You realise I'm going to be marrying him?" I pointed out.

"Don't be ridiculous," she scoffed. "Where were you anyway?" she repeated, refusing to be deterred.

"Didn't Scott tell you?" I asked, trying to dodge the question. I never could lie to my mother, she always seemed to see right through me.

"He said you were out with work friends, but I know you don't have any friends, work or otherwise," Mom said snootily.

"Leave her be, Nadine," Dad interrupted. "You know friends only get in the way." Mom ignored him however.

"It's another man, isn't it?" Mom accused, staring me down.

"No!" I denied.

"I knew it," my mother nodded. My dad sighed and shook his head in disappointment.

"Don't say anything to Scott," I pleaded, joining my mother on the couch.

"Well, I can't say I didn't see this coming," she said knowingly. I stared at her in surprise.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Well it was obvious you were never going to be happy with _Scott_. And since you refused to break up with him for some ridiculous reason, you were bound to find someone else to fill the gaps. So who is it? That lovely Colin fellow from your work? He has such nice hair and he dresses so well," Mom gushed.

"Not exactly…" I started. I wasn't sure if I should tell her it was Duncan, since she never approved of him either and she was sure I could do so much better. I was saved the trouble of admitting it though when Scott burst through the door, followed by his mother and father.

"Look who's here!" he announced, carrying his bags of groceries to the kitchen. Mom and Dad stood up to greet Scott's parents. I went over to introduce them.

"Mom, Dad, these are Scott's parents, Geraldine and Tim. Geraldine, Tim, this is my mother, Nadine and my father, Phillip," I said politely.

"Oh it's so lovely to finally meet you!" Geraldine gushed, giving my mother a hug. Mom looked extremely uncomfortable but I did nothing to help her.

"Yes, you too," Mom said stiffly, once Geraldine had let her go.

"Nice to meet you Phil," Tim addressed my father gruffly, holding out his hand for a handshake.

"It's not Phil, it's Phillip," my father corrected. Tim looked embarrassed as my dad quickly shook his hand. My mother shook her head at me disapprovingly and I rolled my eyes, hoping Scott's parents hadn't seen the exchange.

"Well, how about we go out somewhere for the afternoon?" I suggested, suddenly feeling a strong urge to get out of the house.

"That sounds lovely, dear!" Geraldine agreed much to my relief, and we all bustled out of the apartment.

We decided to go and see a movie, since I didn't know if I could trust my parents to be nice to Geraldine and Tim. Unfortunately the movie was a ridiculous romantic comedy about a wedding and a woman who had to choose between two men, and everything that should have made me laugh made me want to cry. I glanced at Scott and then down to where our hands were interlocked, and I felt nothing but pity and guilt towards him. His hand was clammy and uncomfortable and I couldn't help but think of the way Duncan had grabbed my hand last night, and how his hands were rough and worn, and yet it felt so right whenever he touched me.

I dropped Scott's hand and stood up and walked to the bathroom where I promptly burst into tears. I didn't really know why I was crying, whether it was because I was a horrible person who was thinking of another man while holding hands with her fiancé, or whether it was because I was totally in love with Duncan and I couldn't be with him, despite what he'd said last night. I sobbed until I ached, then I quickly wiped my eyes and splashed water on my face, trying to make myself look presentable.

Scott was standing outside the bathroom when I exited.

"Are you okay, angel?" he asked concernedly. Obviously I hadn't done a good job of making it look like I hadn't been crying.

"Yeah… just overtired or something I guess," I said. Scott nodded and grabbed my hand and led me back into the theatre.

Dinner was awkward to say the least. Scott cooked but I barely noticed what it was, let alone ate any of it as I was too busy trying to get my mother to get off her high horse. It was honestly embarrassing how obvious it was that she thought herself so much better than Geraldine and Tim.

"Scott, honey, this meal is delicious! I taught you well," Geraldine praised her son and Scott beamed.

"Cooking isn't exactly a fine art," my mother sniffed. "This food is fine but it isn't exactly restaurant quality." Scott looked crestfallen and Geraldine looked slightly awkward while I just glared at my mother.

"So Scott… what do you do for a living?" my father asked seriously.

"Well, I'm unemployed at the moment," Scott began.

"Courtney's supporting you then?" Dad pressed.

"Well… I mean at the moment yes…" Scott stammered.

"When are you going to get a job?" Dad asked bluntly.

"Dad!" I exclaimed. Although secretly I had been wondering the same thing.

"Well, once we're married, we'll move to the country and I'll be a farmer, like my dad," Scott informed my father. I looked at Scott with wide eyes. This was news to me. My mother snorted.

"You don't really think Courtney is going to move to the country to live on a farm, do you?" she said mockingly.

"I mean… I thought she would… right, angel?" Scott looked to me. I smiled forcefully.

"Maybe we should talk about it later," I said.

"So when's the wedding going to be?" Geraldine asked.

"We haven't set a date yet," I replied.

"Have you at least picked your bridesmaids?" Geraldine continued.

"No…" I confessed. It wasn't like I'd even thought about bridesmaids. I'd put the wedding at the back of my mind and I was not happy to be interrogated about it. I found myself wishing Duncan were there. Or even better, that I was with him somewhere else and not at this terrible dinner.

"Courtney doesn't have any girlfriends," my mother informed Geraldine.

"What about Monica?" Scott suggested.

"Ugh, no," I said without even considering it.

"That ditzy girl with all the freckles who answers the phones at your work?" my mother wondered.

"That's her," I confirmed.

"Oh she's much too fat to be a bridesmaid," my mother shook her head in disgust. "Like I said, Courtney doesn't have any girlfriends. Plus, if she doesn't want to do something, there's no way you'll ever get her to do it. She's very stubborn."

"I don't understand what you mean. What doesn't she want to do?" Geraldine asked in confusion.

"Mom! Can I speak with you in the bedroom for a moment?" I said quickly, before my mother could tell Geraldine that I didn't want to marry Scott, or worse that I'd slept with someone else.

"What are you doing?" I hissed once we'd retreated into the bedroom.

"I'm doing you a favour," Mom replied innocently.

"No you aren't! I can handle my own life, thank you very much. You're just stirring up trouble and making perfectly nice people feel bad about themselves!" I scolded.

"They may be perfectly nice, but they are dull as anything and not very bright," my mother said.

"Will you just act like a decent human being?" I begged.

"You're one to talk, you're the one cheating on your "perfectly nice" fiancé," my mother scoffed.

"It only happened one time!" I defended, but I knew she was right. Even if I didn't see Duncan again, which was entirely possible, given the fact that I was sure he was going to tell me he regretted last night and didn't want to see me again, I had still cheated on Scott. Once was enough to make me a despicable person, and I knew firsthand how much it would hurt him to find out. My mother pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows.

"Can we just get through the rest of this dinner civilly?" I sighed.

"If we must," Mom agreed, and we headed back out to the table. Geraldine and Scott looked at us questioningly.

"Mom's just agreed to be my maid of honour!" I said with a weak smile. Mom looked at me disdainfully but went along with the charade.

"Oh how lovely!" Geraldine clapped her hands in happiness.

"Oh, Courtney, you'll never guess who I saw at the supermarket this morning!" Scott said.

"Oh, who?" I asked, feigning interest. I couldn't imagine Scott had seen anyone noteworthy at the supermarket.

"Gwen!" he exclaimed. I stared at him in shock.

"Gwen?" I choked out.

"Yeah, she was with her daughter. Did you know she had a daughter?" Scott continued, oblivious to my discomfort.

"No, I didn't," I replied. I couldn't let him know I knew anything about Gwen or Duncan or their daughter or he'd wonder how I knew. "Who's the father?" I asked.

"Duncan apparently. The girl is four years old, Gwen got pregnant when she and Duncan were still together. She found out about the pregnancy after she got eliminated from All Stars," Scott explained. I knew all of this already of course. Although there was one thing he said that bugged me slightly.

"When they were still together?" I inquired.

"Yeah, 'cause she broke up with him, remember?" Scott reminded me.

"They didn't get back together after she found out she was pregnant?" I asked.

"Nah, Duncan was in prison, remember? And Gwen's hardly the type to get back with a guy just because of a kid," Scott shook his head.

"You're right…" I said slowly. "So… Gwen and Duncan aren't together?" I sought confirmation once more, feeling like I had to be missing something. My mother gave me a strange look and I knew she'd figured out who I'd cheated on Scott with.

"Nope. Duncan has the girl during the week and Gwen has her on weekends. Apparently she has a place in Toronto and a place in LA so sometimes she's here and sometimes she's there," Scott shrugged, shovelling a forkful of food into his mouth. The conversation continued around me but I tuned out. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. I guess I'd figured out what Duncan wanted to tell me. Maybe I should have been happy that I hadn't been coming in between a happy couple, but I could only think one thing. _That lying bastard._

* * *

**Thanks so much for helping me reach 50 reviews! It makes me so happy to know you guys are enjoying this story! (well most of you anyway. and just so you know, I'm perfectly open to constructive criticism, but if you're going to just hate me because you don't like the story line, feel free to just not read it. I don't need your hateful comments, thank you.)**


	11. Pretending

**Pretending**

_Will we ever say the words we're feeling?_

After dinner, Scott set up the bed in the spare room for his parents while I walked my own parents outside.

"Duncan? Really darling?" my mother judged as soon as we were out of earshot of Scott and his family.

"It's none of your business," I retorted.

"I'm your mother! It most certainly is my business! Why can't you find a man with some dress sense? And a proper job! And money… not to mention someone without a criminal record!" my mother ranted.

"Duncan does have a proper job, and Scott doesn't have a criminal record," I said. I don't know why I was defending them, I hated both of them at that moment. But that didn't mean my pretentious mother was allowed to.

"You do know there are men out there who fulfil both of those qualifications? You shouldn't need two!" my mother informed me.

"It doesn't matter anyway. I won't be seeing Duncan again," I vowed. Well, I might go and see him one more time, just to give him a piece of my mind.

"Good. And then you can end things with Scott, and find someone suitable," my mother said, as if it were final. I glanced at my dad who had been noticeably silent through this exchange.

"Just make sure none of this relationship stuff gets in the way of work," he warned. I nodded. "Love you, Court," he gave me a kiss on the forehead

"Love you too, Dad." I replied. He smiled and got into the car.

"You know I love you too. I'm just looking out for you," my mother patted me on the shoulder reassuringly.

"I know, Mom. I love you too," I rolled my eyes.

"Goodbye, Courtney," she said and followed my dad into the car and they drove off, back to their hotel for the night before the returned home in the morning. I sighed and went back inside where Scott was waiting for me.

"Maw and Pappy are in bed. They were feeling pretty tired," he told me.

"Okay," I replied.

"Is everything alright? You've been acting kind of strange all day," Scott said.

"Everything's fine. Let's just go to sleep, okay?" I said.

"If you say so," Scott shrugged and followed me to bed.

The next day I was on a mission to kill. I left the house and didn't tell Scott were I was going. I didn't even speak to him. I know it wasn't fair to be angry at him, he was only the messenger of the news about Gwen and Duncan, but I resented him anyway. It was easier than the guilt I'd been feeling the day before, that was for sure.

I still didn't know exactly what I was going to say to Duncan, but I knew it would be something along the lines of "I hate your guts, you dirty liar." I didn't bother to call before going over to his house either, since in his message he'd said I could just show up. Not that I was particularly interested in whether or not I needed an invitation or not, and this confrontation would be much more dramatic and therefore more satisfying if he didn't know I was coming.

I buzzed the number of his apartment and waited nervously for him to answer. Wait, why was I nervous? That didn't make sense. _He _should be the one who was nervous.

"Hello?" his voice came through the speaker.

"It's Courtney," I said neutrally. Let him think I was there to hear him out.

"Oh, great! Come up." He buzzed me up and I went inside and up to his apartment. He had the door already open when I got up there so I simply walked inside and shut the door behind me. Duncan came out of the bedroom and practically beamed when he saw me. He strode over to me and grabbed my hands and leant in to kiss me. I quickly turned away and pulled my hands from his. If I let him kiss me I might not ever say what I needed to.

"What's wrong?" he asked, taking a step back to study my stony expression. "Did Scott find out?"

"No, he didn't," I said. "He did find out something else though."

"What?" Duncan looked worried, and rightfully so.

"He saw Gwen at the supermarket yesterday and they had a lovely chat," I said acidly. Duncan's expression went from worried to guilt ridden in a second. I stared at him with pursed lips and my arms crossed, waiting for him to say something.

"Courtney, I swear I was going to tell you, that's why I sent the message…" he tried to explain hastily.

"You were going to tell me? Why the fuck didn't you tell me in the first place? And you've had plenty of opportunities to tell me since then!" I snapped, not letting him finish. Duncan flinched.

"I don't know, I just…" Duncan gulped.

"I can't believe I fell for you again! You're nothing but a filthy liar!" I yelled angrily, storming past him and further inside.

"I don't see why you're so angry!" Duncan shouted back following me at a distance, then lowered his voice and looked at me hopelessly as he said the next words, "I thought you might be happy…"

"Happy?!" I shrieked, turning on him. "You made me think I was a homewrecking, fiancé stealing whore!"

"And yet you did it anyway, didn't you?" Duncan shouted back, finally turning from defensive to attack mode, and I knew there was no going back now.

"Don't you dare try to make this my fault! Was that why you sought me out? So you could prove to me that I was no better than you? For all I know this whole thing was just a way to screw up my life and my relationship with Scott!" I screamed turning my back on him again and striding away from him, lest I start beating him with my fists, which I was feeling a strong urge to do, or worse kissing him, which I also felt a strong urge to do, and I wasn't sure which urge was stronger. I knew I was being unreasonable, as usual. But I was so angry that he'd lied and these thoughts kept coming to me, that he was only out to get me, to hurt me like he'd done before, and the only way I knew how to defend myself was to attack him.

"And for all I know this whole thing was just some kind of plot to get back at Gwen and me and break us up!" Duncan screamed back. Did he really believe that? Or was he just trying to make me feel bad like I was doing to him? Except, I realised, he didn't know I was just trying to make him feel bad.

"Ugh! I hate your guts Duncan! You're incapable of honesty!" I shouted. _I love you, _I thought, _please see through me. Kiss me, and we can forget this ever happened. _

"_I'm _incapable of honesty? You're the one who cheated on your deadbeat fiancé! You couldn't even tell him that you'd _seen _me! And I know why!"

"Oh really? Well why don't you enlighten me, you fucking jerk!" I didn't really want to hear it of course, but there was no way I could back down now.

"Because you knew as soon as you saw me that you were going to fuck me," Duncan smirked. I grabbed the framed photo of Gwen, Duncan and Ariel and threw is across the room at him. He ducked and the frame shattered on the wall behind him. "Are you trying to kill me, you psycho bitch?"

"It would make my life a hell of a lot easier if you were dead!" I yelled, which, of course was the exact opposite of the truth.

"Back at ya, princess!" We stood face to face again, close enough to touch, but neither of us moved. I stared up at him defiantly, seething on the outside, but about to break on the inside.

"You're nothing but a vile criminal, just like I always knew you were! You haven't changed a bit!" I said harshly, when I really should have been saying I didn't mean any of it, and that I admired the way he'd grown up and how he treated his daughter.

"And you're nothing but a stuck up hypocrite! And you haven't got a single person in the world who gives a shit about you," Duncan spat. "And don't say Scott cares about you. He doesn't know what you've done. I'm the only one who knows the real you."

I fought back tears at his last words. How could he be so cruel? Hadn't he hurt me enough? And the worst part was that everything he said was true. Only, if he really knew the real me, why didn't he just kiss me now? Or just tell me he was sorry? It wasn't really that bad that he'd lied. It didn't make much difference now, although I was still in the dark about why he'd actually lied in the first place. I could just reach up and kiss him now. It wasn't too late to make it okay. But I was too hurt now, and we were both too proud to back down, so we just glared at each other, both of us standing our ground. I had to save face. I couldn't let him know how much he'd hurt me, it was bad enough last time. I couldn't stand to see him gloat.

"It doesn't matter. I don't need anyone." I declared.

"You tell yourself that, honey. But I know you'll think of me when you're lying in bed at night. Whenever Scott touches you, you'll wish it was me. And everyday you'll wonder how you managed to fuck it up twice," Duncan snorted. I truly snapped then, I brought my hand back and slapped him hard across the face. Duncan put his hand to his face and cried out in pain.

"Fucking crazy bitch," he muttered. He rubbed his cheek which had turned bright red with my handprint.

"Fucking asshole," I spat back as I turned away from him and stormed out of his apartment and back to my car, where I cried all the way home.

* * *

**Hey y'all, thanks so much again for reading and reviewing, I know I say this every time but I really do appreciate it! Also sorry this chapter is kinda short.**

**What does everyone think of me writing the next chapter from Duncan's POV?**


	12. Love This Pain

**Love This Pain**

_Here I am again, calling her back, letting her drive me crazy_

**DUNCAN'S POV:**

I stood alone in my living room, rubbing my stinging cheek, which I was sure was still red from Courtney's slap. The worst part was I couldn't even say I didn't deserve it. I had said some pretty shitty things. Then again, she was the one who came in here on a warpath. She was always jumping to conclusions and screaming about shit when she could just let me explain for once. Why did she have to be so fucking insane?

I sighed as I went to grab a dustpan and broom to clean up the shards of the broken photo frame that Courtney had thrown across the room at me. I picked up the picture carefully and put it aside before sweeping up the shattered frame. I groaned as I thought about the fight that had just gone down. It was fair to say that's not how I was planning that conversation to go. If you could even call that screaming match a conversation. That was exactly why Courtney and I would never work out. Once she got into attack mode there was no turning her around and it was always going to turn into a battle ground, since there's no way I'd ever back down. I hoped that fucking bitch would be miserable with her deadbeat fiancé, like she deserved. She was completely out of her mind.

Then again, she did have at least one valid point. Fuck, I hated it when she was right. Why did I not just tell her about Gwen and me not being together? Why did I even lie in the first place? I tossed the shards of picture frame into the trash and flopped onto the couch forcefully. I thought back to when I'd seen Courtney outside that restaurant.

I'd been living in Toronto a month, ready for Ariel to start school there, since that's where Gwen had one of her apartments (the other one being in LA). I'd been planning on tracking Courtney down eventually, since she was the last person on my list I had to make amends with. She was the one who hated me the most, I knew that, so I'd put her off till last, knowing she'd be the hardest.

Some buddies from work had suggested we go out for drinks, but I had Ariel until nine-thirty, when Gwen would come and pick her up for the weekend, so I told them I'd meet them later. The bar the boys were going to was right next to the restaurant where Courtney and I had our first real date, so I decided to take Ariel there for dinner, and afterwards the boys from work came out to chat while I waited for Gwen.

I glanced around and there she was, Courtney that is, not Gwen, standing out the front of the restaurant. I don't normally believe in that kinda shit, but I figured it had to be a sign, so I called out to her, forgetting all about the guys from work. When she told me she had a boyfriend, I kind of panicked, I guess. I couldn't let her think I was single while she was in a relationship, especially when I was the one who ended ours. Then when she said it was Scott I was especially relieved that I'd lied. I don't know where the engaged part came from, I guess I just had to one up her.

Then I couldn't tell her when we had lunch, because she'd already freaked out a bit when she thought I thought it was a date. Then I couldn't tell her because I didn't want to scare her off. If she'd known I didn't have anything to lose she never would have kept seeing me, in case I made a move or something, so I had to make her think we were _both _in the same position. I couldn't let her think I wanted anything more than her friendship, even though I _did. _

I was going to tell her after we slept together, but she was already gone by the time I woke up and I was worried that meant she regretted it and had gone back to Scott. Then I was so relieved when she came over and I was going to spill everything, that Gwen and I weren't together (and hadn't been since All Stars) and that I meant it when I said she should be with me and not Scott. Why was she with Scott anyway? Fuck that guy. I got angry just thinking about it.

_God, I fucked it up again, _I thought. There was no point denying it anymore, however much I might like to. Yeah, she was insane, but it was my own damn fault I was laying here by myself and not with her. I wondered if it was too early to start drinking, but then I remembered Gwen would be dropping Ariel off later and it would probably best if I wasn't drunk when she got here.

I almost picked up my phone to call Courtney, then scolded myself for even entertaining the thought. I still had some pride and dignity and I'd be damned if I admitted to her I was wrong. She'd coming running back, for sure, when she got bored with Scott. Plus she probably wouldn't pick up the phone anyway.

I needed something to get my mind off her, so I tried driving around the city aimlessly for a couple of hours, but it didn't seem to help, so I drove home in defeat. I threw myself back onto my spot on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen. _Maybe I should call her. No, don't be an idiot. _

I checked the time on my phone, it was only 2pm. I could have a few drinks now and be sober by the time Gwen came over with Ariel. I jumped to my feet and grabbed a beer from the fridge. There was only a few in there so I went out and got a couple of slabs. I wasn't planning on drinking it all, but it couldn't hurt to have it in the fridge, I mean it's not like alcohol goes off. I opened a bottle and went back to the couch.

Two drinks down. I felt angry at her for refusing to listen. For acting like I was always the one who was wrong and for being the uptight, psycho brat I always knew she was. I was angry at myself for thinking she might actually be different. Then even angrier at myself for letting her leave, when I should have just kissed her and made her see how sorry I was.

Four drinks down. I thought of how vulnerable I felt in the park that night when I told her she should be with me. The way her lips felt on mine, how they tasted like everything I'd been waiting for, my fingertips on her skin. How I had a million things I wanted to say to her, but I couldn't find the words and how I hoped she'd just know by the way I touched her.

Six drinks down. I remembered what a jerk I'd been to her all those years ago. I remembered how angry she was, and how she'd cried, and how I didn't give a shit about her at all, like she was just some chick that never meant a thing to me, when really I was angry at her for always trying to change me. How getting with Gwen seemed like such an easy option. Gwen would never treat me like that, Gwen wasn't complicated, and getting with her was a sure fire way to piss off Courtney and get her off my back without actually having to _talk _to her about it. And then I remembered I'd never apologised for any of it, and it was no wonder she hated me.

Twenty drinks down, 7pm, and the buzzer from downstairs went off, alerting me to Gwen's arrival. _Fuck. _How was I going to explain this to her? I buzzed her up anyway, I couldn't leave her standing outside.

"Yoooo," I said when I opened the door. Ariel hugged me and ran inside.

"You're drunk," Gwen noted.

"Nope," I lied. Gwen rolled her eyes and walked inside.

"Did you forget I was bringing Ariel over?" she asked as she took Ariel's things to her bedroom. I followed clumsily, nearly tripping over my own feet.

"No, you're just early," I said.

"No I'm not," Gwen denied, looking at her watch.

"Worth a try," I shrugged.

"I guess your date didn't go well then, huh?" Gwen guessed.

"How'd you know about that?" I asked suspiciously. I narrowed my eyes at her, but then I narrowed them so much they were shut and then I couldn't be bothered opening them again so I just stood there with my eyes closed.

"You told me, remember?" Gwen said exasperatedly.

"Did I tell you who?" I slurred.

"You said I didn't know her…" Gwen raised an eyebrow at me.

"You don't," I said quickly.

"Go and sit down, I'll put Ariel to bed, then you can tell me about it," Gwen ordered me. I turned around and crashed into the wall before I remembered to open my eyes. I heard Gwen snicker as I left the room. I fell onto the couch only to find Ariel sitting there next to me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked me.

"I live here," I replied.

"You're silly, Dad!" she giggled.

"You don't know the half of it," I groaned.

"Ariel!" Gwen called.

"Shh!" Ariel put a finger to her lips to shush me as she hid under one of the couch cushions. I laughed at her unwillingness to go to bed as Gwen came into the living room. She immediately saw Ariel hiding under the couch cushion.

"Duncan, have you seen Ariel?" she asked me, going along with Ariel's ruse.

"Nope, haven't seen her anywhere," I shrugged, with a wink at the couch cushion. Ariel began giggling uncontrollably. Gwen slowly walked around the couch, then whipped the couch cushion away and grabbed Ariel and started tickling her. Ariel shrieked in laughter.

"It's bedtime, missy!" Gwen said, putting Ariel back on the ground.

"Noooo," Ariel cried, jumping on top of me and snuggling into me. I put my arms around her and gave her a kiss on the head. I then proceeded to pick her up and put her back in her mother's arms, almost dropping her, since my hand eye coordination wasn't the greatest at that point.

"Goodnight," I said in a sing song voice. "I love you princess."

"Love you too, Daddy," Ariel sighed as Gwen carried her off to her room. By the time Gwen returned I was downing another beer.

"Should you really be drinking that?" Gwen asked as she sat down beside me. I shrugged as I took another gulp.

"What happened?" Gwen asked.

"Fucked up," I shrugged again, trying to act like it didn't matter.

"Sorry, man. I know you really liked her. You literally had stars in your eyes from excitement when I saw you on Friday," Gwen said sympathetically.

"Doesn't matter," I shook my head, finishing the beer and getting up to go and get another one. "You want one?"

"No, thanks." I got her one anyway and we sat on the couch in silence, drinking.

"You want to talk about it?" Gwen asked finally. "What was so bad about the date?"

"The date wasn't bad. The date was perfect… she kissed me and I brought her back here and we… well you know…" I trailed off.

"Duncan, are you blushing?" Gwen teased.

"It's just the alcohol," I defended.

"So what went wrong?" Gwen asked.

"I lied… and then she found out the truth…" I sighed. "And we fought and I said all this horrible shit and now I really want to call her and tell her…" I said, stopping midsentence, afraid of what I might say next.

"Tell her what?"

"I'm sorry, I guess. But she hates me now. Actually I'm pretty sure she's always hated me…" I said pathetically.

"Why don't you tell me about her? What's she like?" Gwen wondered.

"Gwen…" I hesitated and looked at her through my fuzzy vision. Gwen looked concerned. "It's Courtney," I admitted.

"_Courtney?_" Gwen practically screeched, before remembering Ariel was asleep. "You've got to be fucking kidding me. Have you got a death wish?"

"Apparently," I groaned.

"But wait, she's with Scott!" Gwen remembered.

"I know!" I groaned again.

"So she cheated on him with you. What a fucking hypocrite," Gwen muttered.

"Can we not make this about you?" I said.

"Fine. It's not really surprising that you fought though, like that's all you guys ever did. Why are you chasing after her again? Don't you remember how fucking miserable she made you?" Gwen ranted.

"Of course I fucking remember. I can't help it, okay? I've spent every day since I got thrown in jail thinking about her. And I came so fucking close to winning her back, but _you_ had to ruin it," I accused.

"Me? How did I ruin it?" Gwen asked incredulously.

"Well somehow she found out that you and I weren't together, even though I told her we were," I explained, knowing full well it wasn't Gwen's fault at all, even in my drunken state.

"She thought you and I were still together and she fucked you anyway? That fucking bitch," Gwen scowled.

"So should I call her?"

"No! Are you an idiot?"

"Yeah."

"You're sickening," Gwen shook her head.

"God, I know," I moaned. We sat in silence for a moment.

"How much do you like her exactly? Like is this just some pent up feelings from years ago, or because you haven't been getting laid recently or what?" Gwen asked seriously. I stared at my beer. How could I confess to Gwen how I felt about Courtney when I hadn't even told Courtney yet? Then again, I might never get the chance to tell Courtney now, and someone may as well know. I shook my head in response to Gwen's question.

"I think… no, well… I know… at least I'm pretty sure…" I rambled.

"You're in love with her," Gwen finished. I gave a sharp nod of my head. "You idiot," Gwen rolled her eyes.

"I know."

"This can only end in tears."

"I know."

"You're gonna go after her anyway."

"Probably."

"You idiot."

"Gwen?" I said after a silence.

"Yeah?"

"I don't feel so good," I groaned.

"You drank too much," Gwen sighed. I groaned again, feeling like I was going to vomit. "Let's get you to bed. I'll sleep on the couch, I don't trust you like this with Ariel. My flight doesn't leave till tomorrow anyway."

"Okay," I agreed. Gwen helped me into bed and got me a bucket in case I needed to throw up. She turned the light off in my room and I passed out immediately.

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**So sorry for the delay, hope you enjoyed Duncan's POV!**


	13. Latter Days

**Latter Days**

_What a beautiful peace of heartache this has all turned out to be._

**COURTNEY'S POV**

I got home after my confrontation with Duncan and sat in my car for a moment. I checked my reflection in the rearview mirror to find my face was all read and my eyes were swollen, not to mention my smudged mascara, it was pretty obvious I'd been crying. I did the best I could to clean up my face and make myself presentable before getting out of the car and heading upstairs.

As I rode the lift I tried to figure out where I was going to tell Scott I'd gone, what lie I was going to come up with this time to make sure he never found out my horrible secret. I stopped outside the door, still not knowing what I was going to say to him. I could hear voices and I remembered that his parents were still there. I really didn't want to have to deal with them. Lying to Scott was bad enough, but his parents were such nice people, they deserved better than my lies. Come to think of it, maybe Scott deserved better too. Hell, _I _deserved better. What was I even doing with Scott? I didn't love him anymore. If I'd even ever loved him at all. Why had I stayed with him for so long? Because I was afraid to hurt his feelings? That wasn't like me at all. Since when had I started putting Scott's feelings above my own?

I glanced down at the engagement ring on my finger, its perfect princess cut glittering at me, daring me to take it off. I wriggled the diamond off my finger, and suddenly my left hand felt a whole lot lighter, and somehow so did the weight on my shoulders. Now I just had to tell Scott.

I took a deep breath and unlocked the door where three faces turned to greet me with happy smiles. I felt bad that they wouldn't be happy much longer, but I couldn't let that deter me.

"Geraldine, Tim, do you mind if I talk to Scott alone for a moment?" I asked politely. I had to get this done before I changed my mind.

"Of course, dear!" Geraldine said. "We'll take our things out to the car while you two chat." She and Tim grabbed their bags and hurried out of the apartment. She didn't seem worried so I guess she hadn't figured out what I was actually going to say to Scott. Once they were gone and the door was shut behind them I turned my attention to Scott.

"What is it? Is everything alright?" he asked. I simply shook my head and handed him the ring. "What's wrong with it? Is it a fake? Is it not big enough? Do you not like the design?" he asked anxiously.

"Nothing's wrong with the ring Scott," I said quietly.

"I don't understand," he said hopelessly.

"I don't want to marry you," I confessed. Scott was speechless for a moment. "Can you just take the ring, Scott?" I said in frustration. He took the ring from my hand finally and I dropped my arm.

"Is this because of the farm thing? Because we don't have to live on a farm if you don't want to…" Scott rambled.

"It's not about the farm…"

"My parents? I know they aren't as sophisticated as your parents but…" he continued.

"It's not your parents!" I interrupted, but Scott didn't seem to hear me.

"Or maybe it's my sister… or the fact that I don't have a job? Or maybe it's because I want twelve kids? But whatever it is, we can work it out! I'd give up everything for you!" Scott pleaded.

"I know, but I could never ask you to do that…" I shook my head.

"Don't do this, Courtney, please. I love you. Surely we can talk about this…" Scott was about to go off on another ramble so I cut him off the only way I could think of that would make sure he didn't try to convince me not to break up with him.

"Scott!" I practically yelled. "I slept with Duncan!"

"What?" Scott stopped mid sentence.

"I said I slept with… someone else," I repeated.

"Did you say Duncan?" he said quietly. I nodded, looking guilty.

"What… how?" Scott stammered, looking stricken.

"How what?" I asked.

"How… how could you do this?" Scott finally found his tongue again.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"_Duncan_ of all people? Don't you remember what he did to you?" Scott reminded me harshly.

"I remember very clearly thanks," I snapped.

"Fucking hell. I can't believe you would do this to me. I guess you lied about Cameron too, huh?" Scott sneered. I knew he was hurt, but I didn't expect him to be so vengeful.

"No! I never kissed Cameron, at least not on purpose!" I defended.

"How can I believe you?" Scott said.

"I guess you can't," I spat. It didn't matter now anyway. It's not like I'd imagined we could be friends after this anyway.

"You and Duncan deserve each other," Scott scoffed. I didn't bother to tell him I wasn't planning on going back to Duncan. He strode into the bedroom and came back out five minutes later with a bag of his stuff.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"What do you care?" Scott snapped. I shrugged and got out of his way as he headed for the door. "I'll come back for the rest of my stuff sometime when you aren't home," he told me. I nodded in understanding, quickly wiping away a tear that rolled down my cheek before he could see it. Geraldine and Tim re-entered the room then. "We're leaving now," Scott told his parents.

"Where are we going?" Geraldine asked in confusion.

"Home. I'll be staying with you guys for a while," Scott replied.

"Oh, what about…" she gestured to me.

"You won't be seeing Courtney again," Scott informed her. Geraldine went very pale then and looked at me apprehensively. Tim cleared his throat and walked back out to the hallway. Scott ushered his mother out into the hallway and gave me one last glance before shutting the door behind him. I collapsed to the floor in tears then, sobbing uncontrollably. I wasn't even crying because I'd lost Scott. I was sorry that I'd hurt him and he had said some hurtful things, but Duncan had said much worse. But I'd been lying to him for so long, it was just such a release to finally get it all out in the open, and the tears were tears of relief. Well, maybe there was a bit of sadness in there, after all, I had just ended a four year relationship.

Once I cried my eyes dry, I collected myself and somehow managed to carry on with my day. I had nothing planned for the rest of the day, so I busied myself with removing all of Scott's things from my closets and drawers and putting it in garbage bags. I threw out all the food that he ate that I never did, as well as all of his bathroom things like shampoo and shaving cream. He could buy new stuff. After all his stuff was cleared out, I decided to clean the entire apartment. I didn't want the time to sit and think, because I knew that if I did, I would think of Duncan, and I really didn't want that. I was done with him.

Unfortunately, though cleaning was time consuming and sometimes hard work, it didn't exactly take a lot of brain power and my mind ended up straying to Duncan anyway. It seemed laughable that I'd broken up with Scott _after _I'd already ended things with Duncan. And there was no doubt things with Duncan really were ended. Even if I could bring myself to forgive him, and admit that maybe it was at least partly my fault, there was no way _he _would forgive me. I winced when I thought of the hard slap I'd given him. Although I still maintained he deserved it, even if half of the things he'd said had been true. But damn it if the truth didn't hurt.

When I had scrubbed, dusted and vacuumed every last inch of the house, I showered and crawled into bed, though it was only eight o'clock. I wondered what Duncan was doing at that moment. Was he thinking about me? Did he regret the things he's said, like I did? Or had he already forgotten I'd even been there? The more I thought about it, the more stupid the whole fight seemed. I'd cursed him for being with Gwen once upon a time, and now I was angry because he _wasn't _with her?

So, he lied about it. What if he had a good reason? I could've heard him out. I still could hear him out. Maybe it wasn't too late. It couldn't hurt to just _talk _to him. Let him explain himself… maybe I'd apologise… maybe he'd apologise. Maybe we could just… take it slow and see where things go. I didn't need a confession of eternal love of anything like that, but as the night wore on, the more I knew I really did want to be with Duncan. So I decided I would go and see him on my way to work tomorrow.

When the morning came, I surprisingly still thought my idea to go and see Duncan was a good one, even though I still had some reservations about the whole thing. But I was only going to _talk _to him. Nothing necessarily had to come of it… but I just had to know if he felt the same as I did. If he didn't, well that would be the end of it and I could move on, and if he did… well I would cross that bridge when and if I came to it.

I left home early and made my way to Duncan's, feeling increasingly anxious as I got closer. I stood on the steps out the front of his apartment building, trying to work up the nerve to press the button. _Just do it Courtney, get it over with, _I told myself. I took a deep breath and held my finger up to the buzzer, hovering over it for a moment before dropping my hand back to my side. What if he refused to see me? I wasn't good at handling rejection. I was about to turn and leave when a woman came out the front door.

"Did you want to go in, dear?" she asked me, holding the door open. I nodded and quickly darted inside.

"Thanks," I called as she smiled and walked away. Meanwhile, I got in the lift and pressed the number for Duncan's floor. The doors opened and I walked down the hall to his door, my heart beating rapidly, both nervous and eager to see him. I hesitated a moment when I got to the door, delaying my knock for just a moment so I could collect my thoughts and gather my strength for whatever might happen next. I don't think I'd ever taken such a big chance before, and I prayed I wouldn't regret it.

I finally knocked on the door, thinking I was ready for anything, but I was in no way prepared for the person who faced me when the door opened.

"Gwen," I said dumbly, feeling like all the air had been knocked out of me. I stood there staring at her, not knowing what to say.

"Courtney?" Gwen questioned. She was wearing what could only have been one of Duncan's shirts, and from the early hour, and her look of having just woken up, it was clear she'd spent the night. My immediate reaction had been dismay and despair, but it didn't take long for those pathetic feelings to be replaced with spite and anger.

"Nice to see you and I are still interchangeable to Duncan," I spat, before turning on my heel and marching back down the hallway. I heard Gwen sigh before she called after me.

"Courtney, wait!" she called. I kept walking. I had to make it to the elevator before I burst into tears. I heard Gwen's footsteps behind me as she ran to catch up with me. She grabbed my arm and snatched it away as I turned to face her.

"What?" I snapped.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I didn't sleep with Duncan," Gwen told me.

"Oh right, you expect me to believe that? You're wearing his shirt for fuck's sake!" I cried. I knew because putting on his shirt is exactly what I would have done the morning after Duncan and I slept together, had I not been in such a hurry to leave.

"You don't have any right to be mad about this," Gwen informed me rationally.

"Don't you think I know that?" I said, my voice wavering, though I tried to keep it steady. "That's what makes it ten times worse."

Gwen gaped at me and I quickly spun back towards the elevator as the doors opened and my tears refused to be held back any longer. I was such an idiot to come here. What was I thinking? Of course Duncan didn't love me, he'd made that perfectly clear seven years ago. Why was I constantly thinking that I could change him? One thing was certain; I would not be making that mistake again.

* * *

**Oh my god you guys! Sorry it took me so long to update, I know you probably all thought I was dead haha**

**I honestly have no idea how much longer this fic will be, could be anywhere between 2 and 5 chapters, so I guess we will find out together! **

**Also I've created a playlist/soundtrack for this fic if you'd like to check it out: /arysa13/time-heals-all-wounds**

**Hope you liked this chapter, please review! xx**


	14. Wide Awake

**Wide Awake**

_How did I read the stars so wrong?_

I finally cried all my tears and I left Duncan's apartment building, not entirely sure how I was feeling. Sad? Angry? Disappointed? I felt like I should have been feeling one of those things, but I think all I really felt was… empty. I guess I'd been crying so much the past two days, my eyes had finally run dry.

As I made my way to work I hoped Gwen would not tell Duncan I'd come to see him. It was humiliating enough having to see Gwen standing in his living room wearing nothing but his shirt, let alone having Duncan know about it. They'd probably have a good laugh about it later. How ridiculous of Courtney to think she actually might mean something to him.

Why was I moping about that jerk anyway? He'd done nothing but hurt me, and it occurred to me now that he still hadn't even tried to apologise or make amends for the _first _time he'd hurt me. What had I been thinking? Trying to work things out with Duncan was obviously a huge mistake.

I walked into work and Monica was immediately on me.

"How was your weekend, Courtney?" she asked happily.

"Fine thanks," I replied as I walked past her desk, wondering why she was so chirpy.

"How are the wedding plans going?" she gushed. I stopped dead in my tracks and turned back to face her. I had been so focused on Duncan that I'd completely forgotten that only twenty four hours ago I'd been engaged to Scott. And that the only people who knew I wasn't any longer were Scott and his parents. I hadn't even told my own parents, though I knew my mother would be thrilled. So now I'd have to go through the whole awkward conversation with everyone I knew that I had broken off the engagement. Not just the engagement, but the whole relationship.

I stared at Monica for a moment, unsure how to respond. She was still smiling annoyingly.

"We broke up," I finally said bluntly. Monica's face immediately went from joyful to shocked.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't know," she apologised.

"It's fine. I broke it off yesterday. You weren't to know," I inclined my head to her and went into my office. With any luck she would gossip about it to everyone and I wouldn't have to actually tell anyone else myself. Let them come up with whatever ridiculous reasons they wanted to, it's not like it mattered to me what they thought. I threw myself into work even harder than usual so I wouldn't have to think about what a mess my love life had become.

**Duncan's POV:**

I walked into the living room that morning, feeling like I'd been hit by a truck. How much exactly did I drink? I groaned as a rubbed my pounding head. I then realised that my front door was open. My first thought was that I'd been robbed and I immediately panicked, which made me feel even worse.

I was relieved however when Gwen walked back into the apartment, wearing a shirt of mine, and closed the door behind her. Relieved but confused.

"Where have you been?" I asked groggily.

"Some woman down the hall wanted to borrow some sugar," she shrugged.

"I don't have any sugar…" I said, still confused.

"Hm, not sure what I gave her then," Gwen grinned. I kind of smiled but I was still totally confused. I couldn't remember why Gwen was even there, let alone why she was wearing my shirt or why she was giving people in my apartment building things that weren't sugar.

"Gwen…" I started.

"Yeah?" she replied, walking into the kitchen.

"Why are you wearing my shirt?" I asked, following her.

"We fucked last night, don't you remember?" she said seriously. I gaped at her in horror. Surely I would have remembered that? She suddenly burst out laughing. "I'm just kidding, don't look so terrified. I didn't have anything to sleep in, so I grabbed this. You don't mind right?" she asked.

"No… it's fine," I replied. It was fine, it wasn't a big deal if she wore my shirt, I knew she didn't mean anything by it. But it was a little strange for me to see her wearing it; it reminded me of when we were dating. And there she was in my kitchen making breakfast, all domestic like, and couldn't help but wish she'd just leave. I didn't want her there, doing things a girlfriend would do if I had one. Especially when I knew exactly who I would rather have in her place, and so did she.

She seemed totally oblivious to my thoughts though and just continued buttering toast.

"You want some?" she asked. I felt irrationally angry at her for offering me my own toast in my own house.

"No," I said shortly. "I'm going to wake up Ariel. Don't you have a flight to catch?"

"I'm already late. I'll just take the next flight. I can take Ariel to school if you like?" Gwen offered. Well, at least that would get her out of my house. Hopefully she wouldn't come back here after she dropped Ariel at school.

"Yeah, sounds good. I feel like shit. I'm going back to bed," I told her as I stalked back to my bedroom.

**Courtney's POV:**

I don't know what my co-workers ended up deciding the story was with me and Scott, but none of them seemed to mind when I left early and there were definitely a few looks of pity thrown my way. There may also have been some looks of disapproval, but I couldn't be sure. Either way I ignored them and left the office and headed home. I couldn't concentrate on work and to be honest I felt kind of ill. Plus I realised I hated everyone I worked with, especially Monica.

But home was not really the respite I had hoped for. I stood in the doorway of my apartment and I could feel Scott's absence weighing on me. His things were in bags by the door, reminding me that I was completely alone. And not just alone in the sense that I didn't have a boyfriend, because that had never really mattered to me. I wasn't the type to constantly need a man to make me feel like my life was worthwhile.

But without Scott, I truly was alone. I didn't have a single friend in the world I could call. And it was strange because I never thought I needed friends, but right at that moment I would've given anything to be able to call someone and cry to them about Duncan and about Scott. Duncan had been so right when he told me no one cared about me. There was nothing I hated more than when Duncan was right.

I could've called my mother. She would have listened, I know. But she wasn't the sympathetic ear I needed. She would have been happy about both what happened with Scott and what happened with Duncan. Then she would have told me to find a new man. At best she would have just told me it was for the best and that it was time to move on. And then I thought, if she did say that, she would be right. I did need to move on. I didn't need Scott or Duncan, and I most certainly didn't need any friends (or a new man, despite what my mother might think). The people in my life had always found a way to let me down, and I knew I was better off on my own anyway.

I decided that it was time to make some big changes in my life. I was already rid of Scott, so now it was time to get a new job and get out of this city. Or maybe even this country. A fresh start was exactly what I needed to finally let go of feelings of guilt about Scott and feelings of… well just feelings in general about Duncan. I was, and always had been, stronger than the girl I had been acting like lately. I would pick myself up and go on, just like I always had before.

**Hey, sorry for the short chapter, but it's better than nothing, right? I'm not sure how much time I'm going to have to write over the next week or so, so it may be a while till the next update, sorry! (I appreciate that you guys like this story enough to want frequent updates but please be gentle with me, I'm only human after all)**


	15. What Now

**What Now**

_The more I swear I'm happy, the more that I'm feeling alone_

I called my mother that night to tell her Scott and I had broken up. Needless to say she was ecstatic, though I had to give her credit for trying to hide her glee. She even tried to console me a little before suggesting I find a new man.

"Oh, honey, I know you're sad now, but this is for the best," she told me.

"I know, Mom," I sighed. I'd already figured that much out for myself.

"Well, maybe now you can find someone more suitable. How about someone from work? Or my friend Candice has a son about your age who is recently single. He's in politics!" Mom gushed. I knew then that it was time to hang up the phone.

"No thanks, Mom. I think I need to be on my own for a while," I replied. "I have to go now, I've got things to do."

"Alright, but don't leave it too long or there won't be anyone left," she laughed and I quickly said goodbye and hung up the phone. Well at least that was out of the way now. Hopefully I wouldn't have to talk to her for at least another month. I hadn't bothered to tell her what happened with Duncan. She wouldn't have understood anyway, and would have wondered why I wasted my time on him in the first place. Plus I was worried that if I tried to explain the whole thing I might just start to cry, and I had no time for tears anymore.

* * *

I gave my boss my notice first thing in the morning. He seemed shocked, which I guess was understandable.

"Is there something wrong here? Have the other staff not been treating you well? Did you find a better job? We can pay you more," he assured me.

"Everything's fine with work and I don't have another job yet. I just need to get out of the city. I need a fresh start. I hope you understand," I said politely. He didn't need to know the intimate details of my personal life, so I figured this vague explanation was good enough.

"Of course, if you're sure. I guess I'll have to try to find someone to fill your position," he sighed. He then dismissed me and I headed back to my office. So now I had two weeks to find a new job in a new town, and a new apartment. The thought terrified me but I was also feeling good about my decision.

Half an hour later the boss called me back into his office.

"Courtney, I know you said you didn't have another job lined up, and that you wanted to get out of Toronto, is that right?" he clarified.

"Yes, sir," I answered, wondering where this was going.

"How far from here are you looking to go?" he asked.

"As far as possible," I told him.

"England?" asked my boss.

"England?" I repeated. Was he offering me a job opportunity in England?

"I have a friend who lives in London who is currently looking for someone, preferably female, to add to his team of personal lawyers," my boss told me. "Would you be interested? I could give you a great recommendation and if you interview as well as you did for this job then I'm sure you'd get it."

"Wow… I'm not sure," I stammered. It sounded like a great opportunity… but England was so far away. But then again, hadn't I just said I wanted to get as far from here as possible?

"I understand. Why don't you take some time to think about it?"

"No," I said sternly.

"No?" my boss said incredulously.

"I mean, no I don't want to think about it because I would love for you to recommend me," I smiled.

"Great! Is it alright with you if I give him your email address and phone number?"

"Of course," I responded. I was then dismissed again, but this time feeling significantly less terrified than before. Already I potentially had a job. Surely with the recommendation from my employer who said he was a good friend of this English man, I was a shoe in.

Surprisingly, I got a call from said English man that very night.

"Is this Courtney Estrella?" said the voice when I answered the phone at 8pm that night.

"Yes, who am I speaking to?" I replied.

"This is Henry Frederick, my friend Maxwell gave me your number and informed me you might be interested in working for me," the man replied.

"Oh, yes that's right. I wasn't expecting you to call so soon," I told Mr. Frederick.

"Did I call at a bad time?" Mr. Frederick asked.

"No, no! Now is as good as ever," I said, feeling a little flustered. I wasn't prepared for this phone call at all and I hoped I didn't sound like an idiot. I really wanted the job.

"Good. I'll be flying over to Canada on the weekend, would you be available for an interview at 10am on Saturday?" Mr. Frederick asked.

"Yes, I'm available," I said eagerly.

"Fantastic, I'll have my driver pick you up at nine forty five. See you then." Mr. Frederick said and then immediately hung up the phone, leaving me feeling a little bewildered. I felt like this was all going so fast. I realised I didn't have the job yet, but if I got it I would be flying off to London in no time, leaving this godforsaken apartment, workplace and city full of unwanted memories behind me.

* * *

I woke up with a strange feeling of longing that I couldn't place, until I remembered the dream I'd had. In it I had flown to London only to find Duncan waiting for me to tell me he would go wherever I went because he couldn't stand to be without me. I was angry at my unconscious mind for allowing me to think such a thing, when I was certain I never wanted to see Duncan again. There was something comforting about the thought of London though, and I told myself that if I got the job, there was no way Duncan would follow me all the way to England.

Monica greeted me chirpily as usual when I got to work.

"Oh Courtney, I'm so sorry you're leaving! We'll all miss you!" she gushed.

"How do you even know that?" I replied snarkily.

"I had to advertise your job for Mr Matthews. Are you leaving because of what happened with Scott? Are you back with Duncan now? Is that why he was coming here all the time?" Monica asked nosily.

"None of your business, Monica!" I snapped as I walked into my office and slammed the door in her face. I could safely say I would not miss that girl at all.

* * *

The rest of the week passed slowly as I tried to fill in my spare time with work or going to the gym or generally pointless activities so I wasn't sitting around at home contemplating my uncertain future or my tragic past. I deleted every single sad break up song off my iPod so I wouldn't be tempted to wallow in self pity and think of Duncan. It was the hardest on Friday night though. Had it really only been a week since our date? When I'd kissed him and we'd made love and I realised how in love with him I was? And then, only a day later everything had turned sour.

_It doesn't matter now, _I told myself. _It's done. You're moving on._

* * *

At exactly nine forty five on Saturday morning I got into a sleek black car that drove me to a huge mansion that presumably Mr. Frederick owned. The driver drove me up to the front door where he stopped and opened the car door for me. I was then let inside by what appeared to be a butler. Just how rich was this guy anyway? The butler led me to a huge wooden door and knocked on it.

"Come in," a voice that I recognised to be Mr. Frederick's called. The butler gestured for me to go in, so I opened the heavy door and ventured inside.

"Miss Estrella!" Mr. Frederick said, standing up. He looked to be in his late thirties and was attractive in a smarmy rich guy type of way, but he didn't do anything for me. He looked me up and down, and I hoped that he was sizing me up and not checking me out, but I wasn't entirely certain. He walked over to me and put his hand on my back and led me to a chair. It felt odd that he should feel like he could touch me when we'd only just met, but I decided to go with it. He was obviously just a friendly person. He then sat opposite me and stared at me for a moment before speaking again.

"I have a feeling you're exactly what I'm looking for," he told me.

"Excuse me?" I asked. How could he possibly know that already? He hadn't even asked me any questions.

"I'm very intuitive," he winked. I suppressed a shudder and forced myself to smile at him. As much as I got a bad vibe from this guy, the job was just too good to pass up. I had a feeling the salary was going to be quite large if this enormous mansion was any indication.

"Don't you want to ask me any questions?" I prompted.

"Of course, Courtney, dear! You don't mind if I call you Courtney, right? Last names are so formal. And you can call me Henry. Now I don't have many questions, Maxwell already faxed me your details and resume, and I assume you are willing to move to London?" he asked.

"Yes, Mr… I mean… Henry," I replied.

"Great, well that's all the questions I have," Henry grinned.

"That's all?" I asked suspiciously.

"Yes, now did you have any questions for me?" he asked.

"Yes, actually. I was wondering… why in particular did you want to hire a female?" I questioned. I was hoping for an answer along the lines of diversity, or his belief that female lawyers were better than males or harder working or something, but the response I got was quite different.

"Oh," he laughed sheepishly. "It's a little embarrassing actually, but I suppose if I hire you you'll find out soon enough. You see, I've been accused of sexual harassment, so I thought it would look better if I had a woman representing me. Plus having a female around boosts morale, you know?" he chuckled. I grimaced at his answer but managed to turn my grimace into a smile before he caught me.

"Oh yes, I know what you mean," I laughed, though I really wanted to spit in his face. What a gross jerk.

"Alright, well the interview is over, so you can go! I'll call you later in the week to let you know if you've got the job," he smiled. I smiled fakely as I left, and I felt his eyes on my ass as I walked out the door, making my skin crawl. _Yeah, see you never, asshole, _I thought to myself. There was no way I would accept a job from that guy in a million years.

* * *

**Hey everyone! I was planning on uploading this earlier but I couldn't think of a chapter name, whoops! I think there might be 2-3 chapters left of this story. Let me know what you thought of this chapter! **


	16. Hush Hush

**Hush Hush**

_So go on, live your life. So go on, say goodbye._

When I arrived home, there was a very familiar truck in the parking space next to mine, and I immediately had a sinking feeling in my stomach. Obviously I'd known that Scott would be back for his things at some stage, but couldn't he have at least called before he came, so I could make sure I was out the entire time he was here?

I slowly made my way upstairs to my apartment, delaying seeing him for as long as possible, but unfortunately I eventually made it to my front door, where Scott was sitting, leaning up against it. I stopped in front of him and he looked up at me.

"Finally, you're back. I'm here to get my stuff," he said, standing up.

"I figured as much," I replied, unlocking the door. "You could've let yourself in." I said, wondering why he had waited for me. He couldn't possibly have wanted to see me, I was one hundred per cent sure he hated me, and I couldn't say I blamed him.

"No I couldn't," Scott snorted. "I threw my key in a river." He followed me inside.

"Why?" I asked, slightly confused. He shrugged, not looking at me.

"I was angry, I wanted to throw something. I wanted to throw the ring but it was too expensive. The key was the next best thing," he shrugged again.

"Symbolic or something like that?" I laughed nervously.

"Uh, yeah I guess," Scott said, clearly not understanding symbolism at all. "Is this my stuff?" he gestured to the garbage bags by the door.

"Yes," I nodded. "Do you want some help?"

"No, I got it," he snapped. He picked up a couple of the bags and headed out the door, still leaving two bags behind. I decided to help anyway, despite his refusal. The quicker he was gone, the happier we'd both be. I picked up the bags and followed him out into the hall and into the elevator.

"I said I don't need help," he scowled.

"I know," I said. "I'm just trying to get this over with."

"Hmph," Scott grunted, clearly realising I was right. We rode the elevator silence until we got to the underground car park where we threw the bags into the back of his truck. Scott glared at me from across the tray.

"I really hate you, you know that?" he said.

"I know," I replied.

"You didn't have to… do what you did. You made me look like an idiot. I don't like looking like an idiot."

"I know."

"You should've just told me. It's not like a loved you that much. I would've been fine. But no, you had to go and fuck Duncan behind my back," Scott said bitterly. I knew he was lying about not loving me, but I decided to let him have this one. We both knew the truth, and if it made him feel better then who was I to make him face the truth?

"I'm sorry," I replied.

"Yeah, whatever. I guess I'll be going know. I hope you're happy," he shook his head. "Actually no, I don't hope you're happy. I hope you're fucking miserable," he spat. I nodded, my eyes brimming with tears.

"I am," I whispered. The worst part was, I realised it wasn't even a lie to make him feel better. I was miserable. After all, what did I have now? I'd quit my job, I hadn't found a new one, I'd lost both the men I'd had in my life, I didn't have any friends and I didn't even have a pet. I had a car and an apartment, but that was it, and the thought filled me with utter hopelessness.

"Good," Scott nodded curtly, getting into the drivers seat of his truck. "We probably won't see each other again."

"Yeah," I said. I stepped out of the way and Scott reversed his truck out of the car space and the car park and out of my life forever.

* * *

**Duncan's POV:**

It had been a week since I'd seen Courtney and I wasn't too proud to admit I missed her. Well, I wasn't too proud to admit it to myself, but so far I had been too proud to tell her. I still wanted to work it out with her, but truth be told, I didn't know if there was any hope for us. Gwen had spent some time trying to convince me calling her would be a bad idea.

But after a week, I thought maybe it was time to man up and actually call her and apologise. She hadn't made any effort to reach out to me, but that didn't mean anything, she was just as stubborn and proud as I was, maybe even more so. So if I just called her… and if she actually picked up then I would count that as a good sign. And maybe I could convince her to leave Scott and be with me. Because even though I said all that stuff when we fought, what I really meant was the stuff I said the night we had our date.

I kept procrastinating the call, putting it off for stupid reasons like she might be still asleep, or she might be with Scott. But I had to do it before Gwen arrived to drop off Ariel or I'd never do it. So eventually, I just picked up my phone and dialled her number. It rang for a long time and I thought for sure she wasn't going to answer but eventually I heard her voice on the other end and I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of hope. Even if her tone wasn't exactly friendly.

"Yes?" she said shortly.

"Courtney," I breathed.

"What do you want?" she snapped.

"I wanted to apologise…" I started. "I didn't mean any of that shit I said, and I'm sorry I lied…" I continued, but she cut me off.

"I don't give a fuck about what you said. Your actions have made it quite clear what you meant. I don't see why you bothered with this phone call," she said haughtily.

"Courtney look, I don't know what actions you're talking about, but I want you to know that I really care about you-," I tried, but she snorted in disbelief.

"Oh I'm so sure you do, that's why you slept with Gwen," she said icily. Was she really bringing this up again? I resisted the urge to snap at her, and continued to reason with her.

"Look, I'm really sorry for that, okay? But it's in the past. It was such a long time ago, and we've both grown up a lot since then," I said reasonably.

"Seems like you and I have a very different definition of a long time ago," she sniffed.

"Courtney, I just need you to give me a chance. Scott will never be able to make you happy," I said earnestly.

"Scott?" she questioned, almost as if she'd forgotten who he was. "Right, Scott. Look Duncan, I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but I don't want any part in it. Just leave me alone, alright?" she said tiredly, and then she hung up without another word. I felt like I was missing something. The whole conversation kind of confused me. I hadn't really expected her to forgive me right away, but I hadn't expected to be totally shut down either. I sighed at my failure, wondering where the hell I went wrong.

Gwen showed up at seven thirty with Ariel as per usual.

"Not drunk this time?" she asked. I scowled at her as I took Ariel's bags from her. "Just checking!" she defended.

"Yeah, well it's not appreciated," I said flatly. Gwen waited in the living room while I took Ariel to her room and put her to bed.

"Is everything alright?" Gwen asked when I returned.

"Fine and dandy, thanks," I said sarcastically. Gwen looked at me disdainfully.

"No need to be such an ass. It's about Courtney again, isn't it?" she guessed.

"No," I said sulkily.

"You called her, didn't you?" she said disapprovingly.

"No…" I lied again.

"Duncan!" Gwen scolded. I shrugged and Gwen rolled her eyes. "Well, what did she say?"

"I dunno. It was kind of weird actually… I felt like I'd done something I didn't even know about. I mean aside from the lying and saying horrible things…" I shook my head, still wondering what the hell Courtney was so mad about. I glanced at Gwen who seemed to be looking a little sheepish. "What?" I asked, suddenly feeling very suspicious of my ex.

"Uh, well that might have something to do with me…" she admitted.

"What the fuck did you do?" I demanded.

"Last Monday… when I stayed over… you were still asleep…" Gwen said slowly.

"Just spit it out!" I yelled.

"Okay, okay! God. Courtney came over. She saw me wearing your shirt. She assumed the worst," Gwen shrugged.

"Oh my god, why the fuck would you not tell me this? You told me a woman wanted sugar!" I shouted.

"Okay, well technically, if you think about it, that is not really a lie," Gwen reasoned.

"How is that not a lie?" I questioned.

"Well, Courtney, a woman, wanted sugar… you're the sugar," Gwen snorted.

"This isn't funny, Gwen," I snarled.

"Whatever, I did you a favour. And now I'm leaving. See you Friday!" she said cheerfully. I glared at her back as she stalked out the door. As soon as she was gone I dialled Courtney's number but there was no answer. She was obviously avoiding my calls. That or she was with Scott. I shuddered at the thought. I had to let her know she was mistaken, that I hadn't slept with Gwen. Well, at least not last weekend.

I knew there was nothing I could do at that very moment, but come morning I would think of some way to win her over. Or maybe… I sighed. Was there any point? Was she ever going to forgive me for everything I'd done? And even if she did, there'd probably be just some new fight next week, and the week after. Was it worth it? I knew that I loved her, but I suddenly doubted if it would be enough. Maybe Gwen was right, maybe she had done me a favour.

Shaking my head, I decided to get ready for bed, though it was still early. Maybe my thoughts would be in order after I got a good night's sleep.

* * *

**Ok bit of a quicker update this time! I think this will be the second last chapter. **

**Just wondering, after I finish this story, what would you guys like to see next? (Assuming you want to keep reading my stuff haha). I have a few ideas but if you let me know what you'd like to read that might help me :)**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

**PS sorry for the short chapters :/**


	17. Lego House

**IMPORTANT NOTE: Okay guys I know I said this was the last chapter but it's actually the second last chapter. Kind of. I have written two endings and I will post BOTH tomorrow as separate chapters. Okay you can carry on and read this chapter now!**

* * *

**Lego House**

_And out of all these things I've done, I think I love you better now_

**Courtney's POV:**

The call from Duncan was unexpected to say the least. I felt a little rattled after I hung up, and I even wondered for a moment if I had made the right decision by refusing to talk to him or listen to him. I immediately shook off that feeling though, knowing that of course I had made the right decision. He'd tried to make it seem like it was no big deal that he'd slept with Gwen only forty-eight hours after he'd slept with me. And he had the nerve to say it happened a long time ago? It was last week for crying out loud!

I'd forgotten for a moment that Duncan thought I was still with Scott, and now I was even gladder that I hadn't told him we broke up. Let him think I was happy with Scott, then maybe he'd eventually leave me alone. I didn't even know why he was bothering with me now. Was it just to mess with me? Why would he want me when he could clearly have Gwen whenever he wanted? He was probably just trying to ruin the relationship he thought I had with Scott. Which he had already done, though he didn't know it. I had to admit though, it really was a good thing that he'd made me realise I didn't want to be with Scott, otherwise I probably would've ended up divorced with two kids by the time I was thirty, and that is definitely not what I wanted.

When I got to work the next day, Monica was beaming at me annoyingly as usual.

"Congratulations, Courtney!" she burst out.

"On what?" I asked in confusion.

"You'll see!" she said mysteriously. I looked at her suspiciously as I walked over to my office. As soon as I opened the door I saw a large box on my desk. I quickly shut my office door behind me and strode over to the box, wondering what it could possibly be. There was no note or anything on the top of the box so I opened it tentatively to reveal a brand new suit jacket and skirt. They were pale blue, and they really were lovely and obviously expensive. I wondered if it was a going away present from my co-workers. But why wouldn't they have left a card or at least a note saying who it was from? I lifted the jacket and skirt out of the box and a piece of paper fell to the ground. I quickly picked it up and read it. Scrawled in extremely messy handwriting were the words "see me in my office" and it was signed by my boss.

I put the skirt and jacket back in the box and made my way to my boss's office. After knocking on the door he told me to enter, and when I did so I was surprised to find him standing there with none other then Henry Frederick. I was so shocked that I stopped dead in the doorway with my mouth hanging wide open.

"Courtney!" my boss said. "Aren't you going to come in?" I obediently walked inside and closed the door behind me.

"Take a seat," said Henry.

"I'd rather not," I replied. I hoped I could get this over with fast. Was he here to offer me the job? I had been hoping I wouldn't hear from him… or that if I did it would be a phone call where I could easily tell him I didn't want the job.

"Suit yourself," he shrugged. "Anyway, I'm here to tell you that you've got the job! Assuming you still want it, that is," he grinned.

"Actually, I -," I started but he cut me off.

"The suit on your desk is a gift from me, to wear on your first day," he smiled.

"Mr. Frederick-," I tried again.

"It's Henry, remember? I'd like you to start on Thursday. That should give you enough time to get settled into the hotel room I've booked for you. It's a penthouse, very lovely. I've booked and paid for a month, hopefully by then you will have been able to find somewhere to live. If not, I'm more than happy to help you look." Henry rambled.

"You've already paid for my hotel?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes, and your flights. You leave tonight," he beamed. I could do nothing but stare at him. It seemed he had gone to a lot of trouble to get me working for him as soon as possible. Did he really want me on his team that much? Surely for him to have gone to so much effort, there must be more behind his reasoning than just wanting a female to make him look good. I suddenly doubted my earlier decision of not wanting to work for him.

"That's very kind of you… Henry," I said.

"Isn't it?" my boss… well my old boss now I guess, said. "Congratulations Courtney. We'll miss you here very much."

"But, Mr. Matthews, I'm supposed to be working here for another week," I reminded him.

"It's fine Courtney. We'll still pay you for your remaining week, and you can go and get settled into your new life in London. In fact, why don't you go home now and start packing?" he smiled.

"I'll send a car around to pick you up at around 3pm to take you to the airport. Your flight is at six," Henry informed me. I nodded dumbly and left the office, taking my new suit home with me.

All this had happened so fast, I could hardly believe it. Tonight I'd be on a plane to London. While I wasn't totally sure I wanted the job, and I still didn't know if Henry Frederick was a huge creep or not, the going to London part was actually kind of nice. I vaguely remembered being happy there once. It was a long time ago, and I wondered if that was the last time I'd ever been truly happy. For a second there I thought I'd had everything. A best friend, a boyfriend I loved, a trip around the world and a shot at a million dollars. How quickly everything had turned to dust.

I tried the suit on when I got home and admired myself in the mirror. It really was a beautiful suit and it was very flattering. I didn't dwell on how Henry Frederick had known what size to get. I kept telling myself I could still change my mind about the whole thing once I got to London, if it turned out Henry Frederick really was a sex offender. I sighed as I took the suit off and began packing. Now I had to decide what I absolutely needed to take with me now and what could wait until another time.

* * *

**Duncan's POV:**

I decided when I woke up that I had to at least go to Courtney and clear things up with her. Even if we never got back together, I needed her to know that I was sorry and that I wasn't as bad as she thought I was. I needed things to be okay between us, I couldn't stand it if she hated me forever. So I dropped Ariel off at school at 9am and then drove to Courtney's office. I took a deep breath before I got out of the car and went inside. The receptionist, Monica I think I name was, seemed surprised to see me.

"Can I see Courtney?" I asked her.

"You just missed her," she told me. "She's got some exciting news that I bet she can't wait to tell you!"

"Me? Why me?" I asked, confused.

"Oh… are you guys not together? I'm sorry, I just assumed…" Monica babbled.

"She's engaged to Scott though," I reminded her.

"Oh, no she isn't. They broke up. I thought she would've told you, aren't you guys friends?" Monica said nonchalantly. I stared at her. Courtney and Scott weren't together anymore? I was so shocked I couldn't even be happy about it.

"I guess we aren't," I said in response to Monica's question. "When did they break up?"

"Like last weekend. Also she doesn't work here anymore. She's flying to London tomorrow to start her new job," Monica seemed more than happy to offer me any piece of information about Courtney she had.

"London?" I asked incredulously. It had been a hell of a long time since either of us had been there. Monica nodded.

"She went home to start packing," she said.

"Thanks," I responded and ran from the building. I got in my car and drove to Courtney's apartment as fast as I could, even though I knew she wasn't leaving till tomorrow. I felt like the longer I went without seeing her, the less likely she would be to forgive me.

Some teenager let me in the door when I arrived and I practically sprinted to Courtney's apartment where I knocked, trying to make my knock seem casual.

I knew that she saw me through the peephole but she opened the door anyway, and looked at me with cold eyes and pursed lips.

"What are you doing here?" she asked flatly.

"I need you to listen to me," I said urgently.

"Why would I do that?" she asked.

"Well, you already opened the door when you could've just ignored me. Just hear me out, what have you got to lose?" I said reasonably. She twisted her mouth to the side but she let me inside anyway, closing the door behind me.

"Alright, say your piece," she demanded.

"Look, I didn't sleep with Gwen last weekend okay?" I started and Courtney snorted in disbelief. "Are you going to listen to me or what?"

"Fine," she rolled her eyes.

"I got really drunk that night and Gwen stayed over because she didn't trust me alone with Ariel when I'd had so much alcohol. I don't know why she put my shirt on. She didn't tell me you'd been there until yesterday," I explained.

"Alright," Courtney stated.

"Do you believe me," I questioned.

"I guess so," Courtney shrugged.

"You guess so?" I asked. Was she just saying that to get rid of me?

"Yes. I believe you," she said firmly.

"So… you aren't with Scott anymore," I noted.

"No," she confirmed.

"What happened?" I asked.

"He wasn't the one for me," she said, looking away.

"Then who is?" I asked, hoping to get the answer I wanted. _Please let it be me._

"I don't know," Courtney replied to my disappointment.

"Courtney," I said, my voice wavering slightly. She looked up at me with piercing eyes and I gulped, trying to hold my courage together so I could say what I needed to say. "I meant what I said that night. You should be with me. I… I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I want to be with you and I think we have a good chance this time," I said.

Courtney looked at me with pain in her eyes before she closed them for a second. Then she looked back at me and I knew I wasn't going to like what she had to say.

"It's too late, Duncan. You had your chance. I'm leaving tonight," she said.

"Don't go to London. Please. Stay here with me." I begged unashamedly. Courtney shook her head.

"No, Duncan. I need to move on. You're just so bad for me. You and I are completely wrong for each other," she said honestly. And I knew she was right. We were totally wrong for each other. And I knew that if I walked away now we'd both find someone else and we'd probably both be happy enough. But deep down I knew I'd always think of her, because I'd loved no one else the way I loved her. But I nodded, because for once in my life I thought I should respect her wishes.

"I guess this is it then," I said quietly. Courtney nodded and I turned and made my way towards the door. "Courtney," I whispered, turning back to her. "Princess…" I said. She looked up at me and I could see tears filling her eyes. "I love you," I choked out. The tears in Courtney's eyes spilled over onto her cheeks and she let out a sob.

"And I love you," she replied. I strode back over to her in two steps and grabbed her wrists and pulled her close to me before kissing her ferociously, like I should've done a thousand times before now. I could feel her tearstained cheeks brush my own and I felt horrible that it was my fault they were there.

"It's not too late," I growled into her mouth.

"Yes it is," she argued breathlessly, even as her tongue found its way into my mouth and she wrapped her arms around my neck and entwined her fingers in my hair.

I moved my arms to wrap around her, lifting her up as she wrapped her legs around my waist, continuing to kiss me. She was very insistent for someone who only seconds ago had told me it was over. I wasn't complaining though, I'd waited too long to finally have her in my arms and there was no way I was letting her go this time. I moved my lips from hers and down to her neck, wanting to taste every last inch of her. I continued to kiss her all over as I lay her down on the ground beneath me and slowly peeled off her clothes. She shivered beneath me and I hesitated but she leaned up to kiss me again, telling me it was okay to continue.

I slowly caressed her naked thighs with my lips, working my way higher and higher, eliciting a slow moan from Courtney when I reached the wetness between her legs. She spread her legs wider as my tongue delved into her slit and she whimpered erotically, causing me to let out my own groan of desire. I stopped for a moment to look at her, admiring her naked body, and she glared at me. I grinned and was about to go back to slowly teasing her when she sat up and flipped me over onto my back.

"Take your fucking clothes off," she demanded. I hastily obeyed, getting even more turned on by her sudden feistiness. Once I was naked she started kissing and biting at my neck and chest, driving me crazy.

"Courtney…" I pleaded, not knowing if I could take it much longer. I needed desperately to be inside her. She grinned at me wickedly, before straddling me, easing herself down onto my hard length as I moaned in pleasure. She began to rock her hips back and forth, so slowly I felt like I was going to explode from the tension. I tried to thrust against her, to create some more friction, but she was having none of it.

"Uh uh uh," she denied with a smirk, stopping completely until I lay completely still. She then resumed her movements, slowly building herself to a climax. My hands were on her hips as she gradually got faster and I met her movements with my own as she began to moan in pleasure. I knew I was close and I only hoped I could last until she did. Her moans got higher and higher and I knew she was close, but I couldn't take it anymore, I sat up and pinned her wrists to the floor, kissing her roughly as I pounded into her forcefully until we both came spectacularly. I rolled to the floor and pulled her in close to me and kissed her forehead as I wrapped my arms around her.

* * *

**Ok even though I am definitely updating tomorrow, please still review, I love hearing what you think :)**


	18. Ending 1:Breathe

**Alright, like I promised I am posting both endings today. They start the same but end differently, so if you want to read both I will put a note in where it changes so you don't have to read the same thing twice. If you read both you should let me know which one you like best! Enjoy!**

* * *

**ENDING ONE**

**Breathe**

_People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out._

**Courtney's POV:**

Duncan fell asleep on the floor so I carefully disentangled myself from him and put my clothes back on. I watched him sleep for a while, wondering what in hell I was going to do next. I wanted so badly to believe everything Duncan had said to me, and it really did seem like he was being sincere. But how long would it be until he didn't mean them anymore? How long until he remembered what a control freak I was and how everything I did irritated him and he left me again? I knew that he had the power to wreck me entirely, without even blinking an eye. He'd proven what he was capable of before. Could I really risk putting myself through that again?

I hated that being in his arms felt so right, when I was supposed to have moved on from him already. But when he kissed me, I just couldn't stop myself kissing him back. And now I wanted to go back to him and snuggle up to him. It was pathetic.

I had two options as far as I could see it. I could pack up and leave, fly to London and never look back. Or I could stay and see how things went with Duncan, like I had wanted to do a week ago. But somehow so much had changed in a week.

Duncan's eyes fluttered open and he smiled when he saw me watching him.

"What's the time?" he asked.

"Eleven," I replied, glancing at the clock on the wall.

"I should probably get to work…" Duncan mused. I rolled my eyes. Of course he had ditched work to come here. He got up and put his clothes on before walking over to me and kissing me. He looked at me seriously. "Are we… are we okay?" he asked hesitantly. "I mean… will you stay?" He was full of so much hope that it almost broke my heart, but I shook my head anyway.

"This doesn't change anything, Duncan. I told you, it's too late," I whispered. He looked devastated for a moment, his face reflecting what I was feeling inside.

"But… you said you love me," he replied.

"I do," I said truthfully. "But it's not enough."

"Why? Why isn't it enough?" Duncan demanded.

"Because it isn't a healthy love. It's a love that's going to destroy me if I let it. You say you love me now, but you told me that last time too, and look what happened," I said desperately.

"You can't forgive me," Duncan said, his mouth in a tight line.

"I forgive you! But that doesn't change that it happened!" I cried.

"Courtney, listen to me. I love you. I'm not sixteen anymore, I'm not going to play dumb games with your head or run off with some other chick. I need you to give me a chance," Duncan begged. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop myself from crying. "I really need to go to work… and after that I have to get Ariel from school. But after that I'm going to come back here. Please, please say that you'll still be here when I get back," Duncan searched my face for an answer.

"A car is coming to get me at three. I have to be in it or I give up the job," I said mechanically.

"So what? You have a good job here," Duncan pointed out.

"Are you really asking me to give up this opportunity for you?" I accused. He didn't need to know that I didn't really want the job anyway. For all he knew it was my life long dream and he was asking me to give it up anyway.

"You know I would do the same for you," Duncan told me.

"But I would never ask you to." We stared at each other for a moment. Was it a lie? Would I ask him to give up everything for me? Had I already done it once before?

"I just need to talk about this with you. If after we've talked properly you still want to go to London, I will personally pay for a ticket to London for you," Duncan offered, obviously coming to his last resort. "Just… say you'll wait. Please." I didn't answer, and I guess Duncan took that for a yes, because he stopped pleading and kissed me one last time before leaving to go to work, leaving my lips burning and my head more confused than ever.

After he left I resumed my packing, still not knowing if I was going to stay or go, but I figured if I was going to go, I still needed to be packed and ready.

* * *

**Duncan's POV:**

The boss frowned at me but didn't scold me or anything for rocking up to work over two hours late. But even once I was there, I couldn't concentrate on the cabinets I was supposed to be building because I was too busy thinking about Courtney. She hadn't really given me a definitive answer on whether or not she was going to wait for me. But I still had hope that she would, because I was certain we were meant to be together, as sappy as that sounds.

"Duncan, would you quit daydreaming and help me carry this?" Jedd yelled at me. I snapped out of my reverie and went to help him but it wasn't long until my thoughts drifted back to Courtney again.

The day seemed to go so slowly as I watched the hours tick by. When it finally got to three o'clock I raced out of there to Ariel's school to pick her up, even though the boss looked at me disapprovingly. I guess he thought I would stay late since I didn't show up till after eleven. I promised I'd make it up to him later.

I managed to concentrate and say all the right things to my daughter as she told me about her day, but as soon as I pulled up at Courtney's apartment I gathered Ariel up in my arms and rushed to the door, frantically pressing Courtney's buzzer. She didn't answer, but instead of giving up I pressed all the buzzers until someone finally got sick of me and let me in. Ariel was having a great time, giggling as I ran through the doors and into the elevator.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"To see someone important," I replied. The wait in the elevator was excruciating but eventually I got to Courtney's floor and ran to her door.

*****_Here is where the ending changes***_**

My heart sank when I saw a note attached to it. Breathing heavily, I slowly pulled the note from the door and read the simple message neatly written in Courtney's elegant handwriting.

**I'm so sorry. Courtney. **

I felt like all the air had been knocked out of me. I leant against her door, the feeling of despair setting in. If I didn't have Ariel with me I probably would have cried, but I held it together, not wanting to worry her. I didn't even realise it before but I had really believed that Courtney would stay. I guess once again I underestimated the damage I'd done to her that I could never undo. I sighed.

"What does it say?" Ariel asked.

"It says… it's time to move on," I said flatly. Ariel screwed up her face in confusion. "Never mind, princess. Let's go home."

Ariel seemed to sense my mood and she didn't talk on the way home. I'd never felt such a sense of loss before and I felt like it was slowly killing me. But then I looked over at Ariel who was looking at the pictures in a book she'd obviously borrowed from school and I realised that eventually I'd be okay. And I hoped Courtney would be okay to, and that she'd be happy, even if it wasn't with me.

* * *

**Courtney's POV: **

The car was waiting at three on the dot, and, having mad my decision an hour earlier, I taped a note to my door for Duncan, assuming he did as he told me he would and came back for me. It wasn't an easy decision to make and I had changed my mind countless times throughout the day. But in the end I knew I needed a new start more than I needed a relationship that was likely to be doomed.

I grabbed my luggage and went downstairs, loading it into the car with the help of the driver. My whole time in the airport I somehow I kept imagining Duncan running towards me, begging me not to go, putting on the kind of scene you'd see in some dumb romance movie. But of course it didn't happen. Why would it? I'd made it perfectly clear what I'd chosen, and this was real life, not a movie. Plus, I didn't really _want _him to do that, did I? It would only embarrass both of us, because I'd still get on the plane and go to London.

But I wasn't going to take the job from Henry Frederick. I knew I didn't want to work for him, and I couldn't believe I'd really even considered it. But I was going to go to London because I wanted to. And it might be for a few days and it might be forever, but the best part was I didn't know, and I didn't feel like I had to know. For once in my life I was going to just go with the flow, instead of having it all planned out. Sometimes life doesn't go like how you planned, quite often it doesn't actually. So this time I wasn't making any plans. And maybe one day I would finally be truly happy.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed reading this story, thanks for sticking with me the whole way! I will be continuing to write Duncney stories so stay tuned.**

**Also y'all should listen to The Veronicas new song "You Ruin Me" it's seriously perfect and is out on itunes tomorrow!**

**Please let me know what you thought of the ending/s!**

**Love Emily xx**


	19. Ending 2:Broken Record

******Alright, like I promised I am posting both endings today. They start the same but end differently, so if you want to read both I will put a note in where it changes so you don't have to read the same thing twice. If you read both you should let me know which one you like best! Enjoy!**

* * *

**ENDING TWO**

**Broken Record**

_I don't need to keep looking, you are the one._

**Courtney's POV:**

Duncan fell asleep on the floor so I carefully disentangled myself from him and put my clothes back on. I watched him sleep for a while, wondering what in hell I was going to do next. I wanted so badly to believe everything Duncan had said to me, and it really did seem like he was being sincere. But how long would it be until he didn't mean them anymore? How long until he remembered what a control freak I was and how everything I did irritated him and he left me again? I knew that he had the power to wreck me entirely, without even blinking an eye. He'd proven what he was capable of before. Could I really risk putting myself through that again?

I hated that being in his arms felt so right, when I was supposed to have moved on from him already. But when he kissed me, I just couldn't stop myself kissing him back. And now I wanted to go back to him and snuggle up to him. It was pathetic.

I had two options as far as I could see it. I could pack up and leave, fly to London and never look back. Or I could stay and see how things went with Duncan, like I had wanted to do a week ago. But somehow so much had changed in a week.

Duncan's eyes fluttered open and he smiled when he saw me watching him.

"What's the time?" he asked.

"Eleven," I replied, glancing at the clock on the wall.

"I should probably get to work…" Duncan mused. I rolled my eyes. Of course he had ditched work to come here. He got up and put his clothes on before walking over to me and kissing me. He looked at me seriously. "Are we… are we okay?" he asked hesitantly. "I mean… will you stay?" He was full of so much hope that it almost broke my heart, but I shook my head anyway.

"This doesn't change anything, Duncan. I told you, it's too late," I whispered. He looked devastated for a moment, his face reflecting what I was feeling inside.

"But… you said you love me," he replied.

"I do," I said truthfully. "But it's not enough."

"Why? Why isn't it enough?" Duncan demanded.

"Because it isn't a healthy love. It's a love that's going to destroy me if I let it. You say you love me now, but you told me that last time too, and look what happened," I said desperately.

"You can't forgive me," Duncan said, his mouth in a tight line.

"I forgive you! But that doesn't change that it happened!" I cried.

"Courtney, listen to me. I love you. I'm not sixteen anymore, I'm not going to play dumb games with your head or run off with some other chick. I need you to give me a chance," Duncan begged. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop myself from crying. "I really need to go to work… and after that I have to get Ariel from school. But after that I'm going to come back here. Please, please say that you'll still be here when I get back," Duncan searched my face for an answer.

"A car is coming to get me at three. I have to be in it or I give up the job," I said mechanically.

"So what? You have a good job here," Duncan pointed out.

"Are you really asking me to give up this opportunity for you?" I accused. He didn't need to know that I didn't really want the job anyway. For all he knew it was my life long dream and he was asking me to give it up anyway.

"You know I would do the same for you," Duncan told me.

"But I would never ask you to." We stared at each other for a moment. Was it a lie? Would I ask him to give up everything for me? Had I already done it once before?

"I just need to talk about this with you. If after we've talked properly you still want to go to London, I will personally pay for a ticket to London for you," Duncan offered, obviously coming to his last resort. "Just… say you'll wait. Please." I didn't answer, and I guess Duncan took that for a yes, because he stopped pleading and kissed me one last time before leaving to go to work, leaving my lips burning and my head more confused than ever.

After he left I resumed my packing, still not knowing if I was going to stay or go, but I figured if I was going to go, I still needed to be packed and ready.

* * *

**Duncan's POV:**

The boss frowned at me but didn't scold me or anything for rocking up to work over two hours late. But even once I was there, I couldn't concentrate on the cabinets I was supposed to be building because I was too busy thinking about Courtney. She hadn't really given me a definitive answer on whether or not she was going to wait for me. But I still had hope that she would, because I was certain we were meant to be together, as sappy as that sounds.

"Duncan, would you quit daydreaming and help me carry this?" Jedd yelled at me. I snapped out of my reverie and went to help him but it wasn't long until my thoughts drifted back to Courtney again.

The day seemed to go so slowly as I watched the hours tick by. When it finally got to three o'clock I raced out of there to Ariel's school to pick her up, even though the boss looked at me disapprovingly. I guess he thought I would stay late since I didn't show up till after eleven. I promised I'd make it up to him later.

I managed to concentrate and say all the right things to my daughter as she told me about her day, but as soon as I pulled up at Courtney's apartment I gathered Ariel up in my arms and rushed to the door, frantically pressing Courtney's buzzer. She didn't answer, but instead of giving up I pressed all the buzzers until someone finally got sick of me and let me in. Ariel was having a great time, giggling as I ran through the doors and into the elevator.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"To see someone important," I replied. The wait in the elevator was excruciating but eventually I got to Courtney's floor and ran to her door.

_*****Here is where the ending changes*****_

I took a deep breath and knocked, praying that she would answer. Waiting for her to come to the door was even worse than being in the elevator. What if she was gone? My heart seemed to stop as I listened for any signs of movement. It started beating rapidly again as I finally heard footsteps coming towards the door. She opened the door and I smiled in relief.

"You're here," I stated obviously. Courtney nodded sharply with a small smile.

"Hey!" Ariel cried.

"Hey," Courtney grinned. I put Ariel on the ground and she ran past Courtney and into her apartment. Courtney stepped aside and let me in.

"I thought you were going to leave," I said to her once we were inside and standing face to face once again.

"I was going to," she confessed.

"So… why didn't you?" I asked.

"Henry Frederick is a creep and I don't want to work for him… and I kind of wanted to hear what you had to say," Courtney told me.

"Good. Good… okay… well…" now that I finally had her full attention I was at a loss for words. "I just… I guess I just want you to know that I'm in love with you, and I don't want to go another day waking up without you. We're in a better place than we were when we were teenagers… do you think we could try again?" I asked her.

* * *

**Courtney's POV:**

"…do you think we could try again?" Duncan asked a little cautiously. He was an idiot if he didn't realise I'd already made that decision and wouldn't be standing here if I wasn't willing to give it another shot. But I figured now was the time to voice my concerns, before he thought we could go back to how it was at the start. I gave a slight nod of my head.

"Yes, Duncan. But I just want to make sure you know what you're getting into. We aren't picking up where we left off. And we aren't a couple of teenagers who think they've got it all figured out. Do you really think you can handle a grown up relationship?" I warned.

"Of course, princess," he grinned.

"I'm serious Duncan! I need to know you are too… because the fact is I'm terrified of where this might lead, you know? I mean we're either going to break up or be together for the rest of our lives… doesn't the thought scare you? Because it scares the hell out of me," I admitted.

"Courtney," he said solemnly. "Just the fact that you can admit that to me means we're ten million times more equipped for this than we were last time. Yes, I'm scared. But if I never did anything I was scared of I wouldn't have a life. And besides, I thought the only thing you were scared of was green jelly?" Duncan smirked. I gave him a playful slap on the arm.

"Shut up, you idiot," I scowled. He grabbed me and kissed me then and my scowl turned into laughter as I kissed him back.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I know," I replied.

"Ewww!" Ariel cried. Duncan and I laughed as we broke apart and looked at Ariel who was glaring at us with her hands on her hips.

"Now what?" I asked Duncan.

"Now we live happily ever after," Duncan grinned.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed reading this story, thanks for sticking with me the whole way! I will be continuing to write Duncney stories so stay tuned.**

**Also y'all should listen to The Veronicas new song "You Ruin Me" it's seriously perfect and is out on itunes tomorrow!**

**Please let me know what you thought of the ending/s!**

**Love Emily xx**


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